I have seen the future, and it's adult gunge
The future has arrived and it is resting in this correspondent's stomach. It is gungy (good), it is crammed with calories (not so good) and it is most terribly adult. It is "the burger with the grown-up taste".
I speak of the Arch Deluxe. It may be nothing more than a piece of meat in a roll with trimmings, but to those who conceived it - the chefs of the McDonalds burger chain - it is much, much more. It is the chain's attempt to grow older by a decade or two and attract the baby-boomer generation.
Faced with sagging sales, McDonalds has apparently concluded that its food needs to appeal to the maturer taste-bud. And it introduced its new burger with a display of hyperbole and glitz at New York's Radio City Music Hall. This was accompanied by the high-kicking Rockettes doing a special number: "Arch Deluxe, Arch Deluxe, You can Take it from Us, It's the big burger sensation".
The burger is not different from familiar McDonalds fare, except that the roll is made from potato flour and the patty is doused in a "secret sauce", combining mayonnaise and stone-ground mustard (with bits in it).
Yesterday's New York extravaganza is only one part of what will be the most expensive promotional campaign for a single food product in history, with a budget of no less than $200 million. The famous cinedome theatre in Los Angeles was transformed into a seven-storey burger for the day.
Hard at work also will be the company's ubiquitous ambassador, Ronald McDonald. And the clown has evidently been told to grow up. He was due to feature on all the network talk shows last night while appearing simultaneously in a blitz of television advertisements doing such boomerish things as playing golf with his chums and loitering in a billiards hall.
McDonalds - if not Ronald himself - has had some reason to cry of late. Its operating profit in the US dipped by 4 per cent in the first quarter and, for the first time, revenue at its domestic outlets fell slightly.
McDonalds is doing well internationally, however, so the Arch Deluxe is for the US only. But in France, at least, McDonalds is able to sell one item that is much more likely to appeal to grown-ups than lumpy mayonnaise: beer.
Subscribe to Independent Premium to bookmark this article
Want to bookmark your favourite articles and stories to read or reference later? Start your Independent Premium subscription today.
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies