Confessions of an estate agent

James Simpson is a partner at Knight Frank

"Just last week, I was showing a lady round some properties. She'd inherited a lot of money from a relative and was looking for a substantial property. She was a nurse, in her early forties, very bubbly and down to earth.

"Her financial advisor, who was handling the estate and advising on the purchase, came along too. She tended to come straight from work, with a jacket flung over her uniform. He'd be all suited up; staid and professional.

"So, I'm showing them this vacant house and, as it's a half-commission (where we share the commission with another agency), we meet the other estate agent at the property – in this case, a very attractive young lady.

"The four of us take a look around the ground floor, then make our way upstairs. On the top floor there's a window, which opens, folding up, horizontally. There's a beautiful view and we're all standing there, looking out onto a Juliet-style balcony, when we notice that the bottom of the window is also hinged so you can step outside. So out goes the nurse and she's saying how wonderful and beautiful it all is, and beckons the financial advisor to follow.

"As he steps forward, he spears his head on the window handle, which was jutting out towards him. After a tussle, we dislodge him but it's a large gash and is soon bleeding heavily. The nurse is brilliant. Immediately, she strips off her jacket to reveal the full nurse's uniform beneath. She's got scissors, plasters; everything you'd expect, but nothing to sponge up the blood which goes everywhere.

"The nurse needs something sterile to close the wound. But there's nothing. The house is completely empty – not a stick of furniture, no towels, no toilet paper, nothing to soak up the blood.

"Then the other estate agent says, 'What about this?', reaches into her handbag and pulls out a sanitary towel. Which, to be fair, is perfectly suited to the job. So the sanitary towel is taped to the guy's head.

It's terribly undignified for him, but he's adamant we carry on the tour. I had two more properties to show, where the clients were in. So we turn up on their doorsteps, a motley crew; an estate agent, a nurse and a staid professional with a sanitary towel strapped to his head. But all's well that end's well. The nurse, who found the whole episode hilarious, has now made an offer on one of the later properties."

Knight Frank, 0207 586 2777