Almanack: Making waves
TROUBLE at the Press Association, where the computer system has undergone a metaphor overload. The following report was transmitted last week: 'Southampton, the once proud flagship of South Coast soccer, are now a rudderless wreck and sinking fast. A new man at the helm is urgently needed to navigate a way to safety through the perilous relegation waters of the Premiership. Southampton's season is already washed up. All that remains is a battle to stay afloat in the top fleet. Hopes of charting a course to calmer waters through Cup success ran aground at the aptly named Port Vale. The 1-0 FA Cup third-round replay defeat against the Second Division side followed a Coca- Cola Cup exit to minnows Shrewsbury. It has been all hands on deck since the departure of Ian Branfoot last week but still the tide has not been turned . . .' etc etc. Sixteen or so maritime metaphors, and not a parrot in sight: presumably it was feeling seasick.
Subscribe to Independent Premium to bookmark this article
Want to bookmark your favourite articles and stories to read or reference later? Start your Independent Premium subscription today.
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies