Euro 96 : QUOTES OF THE TOURNAMENT

n There are two possibilities from this tournament. Either I shall be kissed all over my bald head or I will have tomatoes thrown at it.

Arrigo Sacchi, Italy coach.

n It's Bavarian state law that beer isn't alcohol. It's a means of nutrition.

Jurgen Klinsmann at the height of "boozy England" furore.

n Gary Neville is petrified of you lot. He's young, he's reading the papers and he's coming up to me every two minutes asking: "Have you seen what they're saying?"

Terry Venables on his players' hostility to the press.

n I'm in disgrace - I've missed my son's wedding to come to the game.

Craig Brown, Scotland manager, quoting fan who approached him after Netherlands game.

n [Gazza] is not longer a fat, drunken imbecile... he is in fact a football genius.

Daily Mirror editorial headed "Mr Paul Gascoigne: An Apology", after his goal v Scotland.

n I know there are far more important things in life than football, but if you cut me open and had a look inside right now it couldn't be a pretty sight. I don't know if I can sink any lower.

Gary McAllister, Scotland captain, on that crucial penalty miss against England.

n What am I to think when the coach [Guus Hiddink] has his hands and head up the backside of certain players?

Edgar Davids, Dutch midfielder. Hiddink sent him home after one game.

n Dennis [Bergkamp] is such a nice man, such a tremendous gentleman, with such a lovely family - it's going to be very hard for me to kick him.

Tony Adams, England captain, on his Arsenal colleague and Dutch opponent.

n Apparently, the future is not orange.

D, singer with pop group Massive Attack, after England's rout of the Dutch.

n Forty thousand Englishmen can't be wrong.

Brian Moore, ITV commentator, complaining about a referee.

n When Patrick Kluivert scored it was the same feeling as when Mel Gibson got hung, drawn and quartered at the end of Braveheart.

Dominic Diamond, broadcaster and Scotland fan, after late Dutch goal against England eliminated the Scots.

n 12-page Scotland Agony Special - in colour!

Daily Record billboards after Scots' exit.

n It's simple - if the fans are singing, they can't be fighting.

Harry Verdonk, trumpeter in Orange Hooters "oompah" band, who led Dutch fans' singing.

n We seem to be stuck on the "Inger-lund, Inger-lund, Inger-lund" chant. That may be a bit

boring but at least everybody knows the words.

Helen Joslin, Football Supporters' Association official.

n Leeds United's idea of welcoming Spanish fans has been to play endless Julio Iglesias records over the PA.

Spokesman at FSA "embassy" in Leeds.

n Where's the beach?

Portugal fans at FSA "embassy"... in Sheffield.

n Best regards to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and the gentlemen people of England.

Turkish banner at Nottingham.

n English grass simply invites you to walk on it, to run on it or even throw yourself on it. I've decided to grow it in front of my house at home.

Marijan Mrmic, Croatia goalkeeper.

n Training has been cancelled. They have the day off and are planning a shopping spree in Wigan.

Lev Zarakhovich, Russian press officer.

n Scarborough is boring.

Hristo Stoichkov, Bulgarian striker, on why the squad were moving... to Stockton-on-Tees.

n I didn't see whether the ball crossed the line. It's not my problem. Anyway, England won the 1966 World Cup like that.

Peter Mikkelsen, Danish referee, on Romanian goal-that-wasn't against Bulgaria.

n Radek Bejbl is like Carlton Palmer without the skill.

Racing Post before the Czech player's winner and man of the match award against Italy.

n A goalkeeper is a goalkeeper because he can't play football.

Ruud Gullit, BBC pundit, after Russia's Stanislav Cherchesov gifted Italy a goal.

n Not only the cows are mad in England. The English press is also infected.

El Mundo Deportivo newspaper, after "Spain-bashing" stories before quarter- final.

n Whey are the English the only people in the world who still claim the ball crossed the line in the 1966 final?

Bild, German tabloid, reacts to English press jingoism.

n I've only taken one penalty before, for Crystal Palace at Ipswich. It was 2-2 in the 89th minute, I hit the post and we went down that year. But I think I'd be far more comfortable now than I was then.

Gareth Southgate, England defender, tempting fate before his decisive miss in semi-final shoot-out against Germany.

n Why didn't you just belt it?

Barbara Southgate to her son.

Phil Shaw is co-author, with Peter Ball, of the forthcoming Umbro Book of Football Quotations (Ebury Press).