7 important questions we have about the Cristiano Ronaldo statue at Madeira airport

Madeira Airport was renamed after Real Madrid star Cristiano Ronaldo at a rather bizarre ceremony on Tuesday morning, and we have some questions which need answering... 

Wednesday 29 March 2017 13:33 BST

Cristiano Ronaldo now has an international airport named after him.

The Real Madrid striker was joined at a bizarre opening ceremony on Wednesday by dozens of guests and hundreds of fans in his native Madeira Islands, as the local airport as Aeroporto Cristiano Ronaldo.

Portugal's president and the prime minister flew to the island and unveiled a commemorative plaque outside the terminal entrance.

But the eccentric ceremony — where a very amusing bust of Ronaldo was unveiled, while a man dressed up as Batman for no real apparent reason watched on — leaves us with a number of questions that we feel need answering...

Why does Ronaldo's bust look like the head off Art Attack?

Spot the difference: The Art Attack head and CR7 (Getty)
Spot the difference: The Art Attack head and CR7 (Getty)

Rather than looking anything remotely like Ronaldo – famed for his impressive cheek bones and chiselled looks – the statue’s disconcertingly lopsided grin actually bears more than a passing resemblance to The Head from popular kids TV show Art Attack.

The hair may be slightly different, but that amusingly shaped chin is absolutely spot on.

Is there anything Ronaldo won’t put his name to?

Ronaldo has happily put his name on everything from lethally tight pants to KFC bargain buckets, lubricant companies to Japanese ab sculpting machines.

Is there anything he isn’t happy to endorse? We’re seriously beginning to doubt it.

Why did Batman turn up?

Batman decided to turn up at the ceremony
Batman decided to turn up at the ceremony (Getty)

As if the ceremony wasn’t bizarre enough already, proceedings were watched over by a man dressed up as Batman, merrily waving to people from a balcony above.

And this isn’t just any old Batman. The tactical belt, leather cape and carefully maintained five o'clock shadow all indicate that this is very much a professional Batman cosplayer, surely at the wrong event and yet having a wonderful time regardless.

Why are these people so upset?

A pained couple at the opening ceremony
A pained couple at the opening ceremony (Getty)

Notable in the throng of Ronaldo lovers were these two consternated souls, seemingly unimpressed by the world’s worst bust and a lad dressed as Batman. There’s just no pleasing some people.

He holds a pennant declaring Ronaldo to be the world’s best player while staring solemnly forward, arm dappled around his partner. She stands with a look of sorrow etched onto her face, a single flower clutched in her grasp. Why are they so upset? What’s their story? Who forced them to this ceremony? We will ultimately never know.

And why is Ronaldo not upset?

Cristiano looked delighted with his new bust
Cristiano looked delighted with his new bust (Getty)

Not all of the punters are enjoying themselves, but at least Ronaldo appears to be having a good time. The forward has a reputation for being extremely tempestuous on the pitch, but here at least he looks delighted, laughing happily in front of a bust that looks more Raoul Moat than Ronaldo.

When will a good statue of Ronaldo finally be commissioned?

Madeira's famous statue of Cristiano Ronaldo
Madeira's famous statue of Cristiano Ronaldo (Getty)

It turns out that Ronaldo’s botched bust isn’t the first lacklustre statue of the Real Madrid man.

Just down the road in Madeira there stands a full statue of Ronaldo, featuring what appears to be David Beckham’s face, laughably out of proportion arms, and a suspiciously small bulge down below.

How long will it be until Madeira is renamed Ronaldoland?

CR7 is adored in Madeira, where he is considered a local hero and the ultimate rags-to-riches success. The region has already named a museum and a hotel after their favourite son as well as constructing a statue of him, which rather begs the question, how lung until they name the whole island after him?

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