World Cup shorts

The real big match

And so to the final. Today Montserrat play Bhutan to decide which is the world's worst team. Montserrat, at 203, are the lowest-ranked side, and their opportunity to move up a place comes against a team which once lost 20-0 to Kuwait. But then, in their country, football is second to archery.

False hopes

There was a brief moment of elation in Seoul last week. A radio station announced that a German player had failed a drugs test, his side was disqualified, and South Korea would be in the final! But hardly had the thrilled millions taken to the streets when the DJ admitted the story was not true: it came from that reliable source – a text message from a friend.

We're suing, of course

The people of Pasman, an island off Croatia, were so upset at their team's early exit from the World Cup that they are suing them. They want millions in compensation for "spiritual damage". The action is being led by Krunoslav Bobic, who said: "I am a businessman and I know the importance of keeping promises." Something of a satirist, too, it would seem.

Short change

Some British fans could not resist exploiting the politeness of their Japanese hosts. Reviving habits from home, where ethnic shopkeepers tolerate some theft for a quiet life, they raided shops. "They were stealing anything that wasn't nailed down," says one reporter. Few charges were brought.

Curse of Beckham

The cult of Beckham continues to claim victims. A Croatian newsreader thought he would have more rapport with younger viewers if he had a David Beckham-style Mohican haircut. But his bosses declared it "indecent", and banned him.

And so to the next time

Such is the hunger for news of the next World Cup that an official website for this year's event has a page entitled "Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About The 2006 World Cup". Number 10 is the question on every fans' lips: "Can I obtain a copy of the study prepared during the application process entitled 'A socio-economic analysis of the 2006 World Cup in Germany'?" Answer: no.