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Neil Warnock: What I've Learnt This Week

1. Streisand's four-letter tirade proves even the world's greatest diva can throw a Warnock

Saturday 14 October 2006 00:00 BST
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Everybody has been so disappointed about the football over the last week people have been asking me how things could be cheered up. The answer that worked for me was to go and see Barbra Streisand on Monday night in New York. What a good decision.

It was a surprise present from my wife. On Millennium night we watched what was billed as her "final farewell concert" and I said to Sharon if Barbra Streisand ever had another concert - because these final farewell gigs often are not that final - I would want to see it wherever it was in the world. Well, Barbra Streisand was back on the road this week, conveniently timed for our international break, and Sharon got tickets for a concert at Madison Square Garden. And they were great tickets, four rows back. I knew I had arrived when I saw we were about six seats away from Tony Bennett and in the same row as Oprah Winfrey.

It was great looking about and thinking about the Garden's history. There's been some fantastic moments there.

Streisand was the real diva, unbelievable. Watching the concert made me realise how fantastic it is to entertain like that, and how, in some respects, football taints people's lives. Depending on the results you are good one week, down the next. But there was one moment in the concert that reminded me of a slight problem I've had over the years with officials.

During the course of the concert she did a sketch with a lookalike George Bush. She's a left-hander and it was not very complimentary about the American President. She got one or two hecklers and one in particular wouldn't stop. You could see her getting wound up and in the end she got hold of the mike and said "why don't you shut the f*** up!" which brought the house down. Fancy that. The greatest diva in the world ended up talking like Neil Warnock. It shows even the best lose control at times.

She did apologise later in the concert when she realised what she had done but we all regret certain things after the event, like I bet Steve McClaren regretted his tactics in Croatia.

2. It is no fun watching England

I knew Steve would get slaughtered. Even in the first half I thought the system was wrong and I think deep down he might have realised it but you don't want to show everyone that by changing it so early. He's taken all the flak, which you admire, but I have to say I've hardly ever enjoyed watching England in 20 years and this was no exception. It just frustrates me. The only time I've enjoyed watching them was the night they beat Germany 5-1 in Munich. I was in a pub in Looe and I was jumping up and down with the rest of them as the goals went in.

3. Accept it. We will not win the World Cup again in my lifetime

The England team are all good players but most play in teams which are full of foreign players who are technically far ahead of us. So nights like Wednesday shouldn't come as a massive surprise. I think the Premier League is the greatest league in the world, with the excitement, the pace and the power, but if we carry on with it we are never going to make the grade at international level. I don't think we can have our cake and eat it.

Given the choice I would rather leave the Premiership as it is. Week-in, week-out, the excitement level is second to none. But I can' t see us winning the World Cup again in my lifetime without drastic changes in the quota of foreign players you can use.

While I agree with Arsène Wenger it is nobody's business who a manager picks it cannot help with the development of the national team when you have teams with no English players in the Premiership. So I don't think it matters who is manager, even Houdini would struggle to escape that problem.

4. Do not pass the ball back towards goal

I felt for Paul Robinson when he let in Gary Neville's back-pass in Zagreb, just as, being a manager, I felt for Steve. That goal meant there was no chance of getting back into the game. But I have always told my players, at every club I've been at, that backpasses should go wide of the goal, so if a goalie slips or falls it is only a corner. At least after Wednesday I shouldn't have to remind them for a while.

And I felt for our own goalkeeper, Paddy Kenny. He made his competitive debut for the Republic of Ireland in Cyprus on Saturday and was beaten five times as they suffered probably the worst result in their history. Then he had to miss the Czech game with a tight hamstring. I'll see how he is this morning because, like all players after a difficult game, he wants to play so he can put it behind him.

The same applies to Alan Quinn. He missed the game in Cyprus because his mother died so I was glad to see him come on against the Czechs. Training with us on Thursday was good for both of them.

5. Winning is important but it's not the only thing

Before going off to New York we got our first win of the Premiership season thanks to Phil Jagielka's great, late goal against Middlesbrough. That made the trip all the more enjoyable but even if we hadn't won a couple of things I saw out there would have put things into perspective.

To start with the local papers are clamouring for the manager of the New York Yankees to be sacked after they failed in the end-of-season baseball play-offs. Next, I read that the assistant manager of the US soccer team had suffered a heart attack and died at the age of 51.

Then came the plane crash which I'm sure you will have heard about. The apartment block it hit was two blocks from our hotel.

6. I'm not cut out for coaching five-year-olds

I took my son William to football training the other week. One of my staff was there helping out the school. He had more than a dozen five-year-olds running around and was trying to coach them. Within 10 minutes I was shouting at William to pay attention and listen, and do this, do that. When I came out after I said to Sharon "there's no way I can come again to watch that, I'd have to clip one or two around the ear and then I'd end up in prison".

When I go back to my childhood I'm sure a clip around the ear never hurt anybody as we were growing up. How things have changed. Teachers aren't allowed to breathe now but I bet a few sometimes feel like I did the other afternoon.

7. It is Scottie v Beanie in today's big match

You may remember that in my last column I threatened to raid my daughter Amy's toybox for a mascot, because Stuart Pearce had one and got a win. I didn't need to as Amy volunteered her teddy, Scottie, and I sneaked him into the dug-out. We won, so today it is Scottie v Beanie because we're playing Stuart's Manchester City team.

I've been asked if I think this will catch on throughout the Premiership. Well, I can't really see Sir Alex and Arsène sitting alongside a teddy bear in the dug-out. I wouldn't put it past Jose, but if he had one it would be a designer one.

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