Outside Edge (02/05/10)

Andrew Tong
Sunday 02 May 2010 00:00 BST
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The four men trying to recreate Captain Bligh’s 3,600-mile voyage to safety after the mutiny in the Bounty had better hope their craft is more seaworthy than Graham Turner’s catamaran contraption, made of two coffin-like boxes with a metal bedstead on top, which had to be rescued just 450 yards off Charmouth in Dorset. And hope that their navigation skills are better than those of the man who set off from Gillingham in Kent to circumnavigate the British Isles and ended up sailing around the Isle of Sheppey for a day and a half before running out of fuel. He was using a road map to reach Southampton, keeping the shore to his

£10,000

Money paid by bookmakers Paddy Power to Our Lady and St Etheldreda Church in Newmarket, Suffolk to sponsor a confessional box. So, father, what are the odds on getting into heaven? Beware the four jockeys of the Apocalypse.

Ice pack of the week

They were tough in the old days. A plaque was unveiled in Brighton to commemorate the first world heavyweight title fight between the town's hero Tom Sayers and John Heenan of California, 150 years ago on a Hampshire farm. The bareknuckle scrap lasted 37 rounds, or two hours and 20 minutes, but no verdict was recorded because the American's fans stormed the ring when both his eyes were bruised shut. Today's sportsman is no soft touch though. Washington Capitals' Eric Belanger lost eight teeth in a clash with Marc-André Bergeron of Montreal at the start of the NHL play-offs but he had the exposed roots trimmed at rinkside and was back by the third period. Plucky puck.

Good week for

Daniel Keatings, first British male to win gold at a major gymnastics event, in the pommel horse at the European Championships... Theo Walcott, Arsenal striker has two children's books published about schoolboy striker TJ... and Owen Warboys, 66, of Horden in Hampshire finally launches the yacht he has spent 28 years building in his mother's garden.

Bad week for

Emile Heskey, Aston Villa striker topped a poll of what men think about when they want to last longer in bed... Robert Dee of Bexley, Kent lost a libel action against 'The Daily Telegraph' after it called him the "world's worst tennis pro" when he lost 54 ranking matches in a row... and St Austell U-16s netball team had to be given oxygen after they got stuck in a lift for two and a half hours during the national finals.

Biscuit-takers of the week

Mayday! mayday! It's that time of year when Brits go crazy for the oddest rural sporting pursuits, and this weekend sees eel-throwing in Ely, Cambridgeshire, worm-charming in Blackawton, Devon, Stilton cheese-rolling in, er, Stilton, and the latest craze, knob-throwing in Cattistock, Dorset. It's not as painful as it sounds, but it is fiendishly difficult; a knob is a light, dry cheese biscuit which is very hard to get away since it tends to veer back at you like a boomerang. There are plenty of other attractions to have a snigger at, such as Spot the Knob, knob-painting, knob and spoon races, knob darts, guess the weight of the Big Knob, even a knob-eating contest. After all that, you'll need a stiff drink.

a.tong@independent.co.uk

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