The sporting week ahead (24/10/10)

Today

For once, super Sunday is not hyperbole. Roy Hodgson was once Roy of the (Blackburn) Rovers, now he's Roy of the Ravers (i.e. raving mad). His new club Liverpool (for how much longer?) host his old club. The cameras head for Stoke, but will be disappointed if they want a glimpse of master Rooney – he's injured. Elsewhere, Arsenal go to Man City and there's an Old Firm derby.

Tomorrow

The powers that be must be applauded for trying to prevent football hooliganism by asking Cardiff fans to leave work early and travel up and across to Leeds on a Monday night.

Tuesday

The Carling Cup. Rooney will probably avoid playing Wolves at home. Or he could quit football. Or he could take up rocket science. Place your bets.

Wednesday

More Carling Cup as Aston Villa host Burnley and Arsenal go to Newcastle. In the CIS Cup quarter-finals in Scotland, Rangers and Celtic are in action. Surely this sporting week has to pick up?

Thursday

Officially the most depressing sporting day on the calendar. Take this chance to rise from the couch, change the batteries in the remote control and breathe some fresh air. Because if you stay in, it's either Andalucia Masters golf or eventing in Pau.

Friday

... and maybe go out Friday night too. Or take a tip from our Celtic cousins, who can combine sinking a few scoops while keeping one eye on Cardiff (at Aironi), Scarlets (home to Glasgow) or Munster (away to Ulster) in the Magners League on the box in the pub.

Saturday

At least the week finishes with a bang. If he's still a Man U player (and hasn't changed his mind yet again), Wayne could be back as United host Spurs, while Chelsea go to Blackburn and Man City are thrown to the Wolves. On the eve of Hallowe'en, the ghoulish spot-fixing tale involving those naughty (or not, my lawyer advises me) Pakistan cricketers should move on apace at their appeal hearing in Doha.