Peter Corrigan's 2003 predictions: Henners wins Wimbers as Wayne sleeps

Clairvoyance is a rare gift, particularly among sports columnists, but it can also be dangerous. If those few of us who can forecast results and events in sport with blinding accuracy, and none of us know who the others are, ever divulged the secrets of the future the essence of sport would be ruined.

Unpredictability is the vital ingredient. Without it, sport would be as tedious as the rest of our existence. That air of mystery, the ever-present tingle that the unexpected is about to happen whenever we watch a sporting event, is essential to its appeal to the masses.

But there is another peril that the power of prophesy carries; the threat to our personal safety. If the bookmakers knew that we could foretell results, our lives would be worth nothing. The limit to which that profession would go to preserve their earning capacity has yet to be reached.

There are others who prefer the future to remain a secret; administrators who have dark plans for their sport, club chairmen who keep seeing a vision of a retail park every time they look at the pitch. This need for caution is most difficult at a time when readers expect to be guided through the prospects for the year ahead. It is impossible to resist revealing little titbits but, for obvious reasons, I am unable to say which of the following will occur...

January: England beat Australia for a sensational win in the Fifth Test in Sydney. Captain Nasser Hussain denies that the fact the match started on 2 January and the Australians' New Year's Eve party didn't end until the fourth has anything to do with it. Big giant-killing shock in the FA Cup third round; Shrewsbury, under former Toffeeman Kevin Ratcliffe, beat Everton at Gay Meadow. Again, Everton's pampered teenaged prodigy Wayne Rooney doesn't come on until the second half. Manager David Moyes at last reveals the reason: "He doesn't get up until 3pm." Ken Bates's relatives interviewed in search for a new FA chief executive.

February: Great Britain smashed by Australia in first round of Davis Cup to bring another sorry chapter to our fortunes down under. But the real disaster comes at Upton Park, where Australia's footballers cause a major upset in beating England in an international friendly. Crowd jeer at England's efforts and call for changes. "Give us Kanga-Rooney," they shout. More damage to national pride when Australia-England women's cricket Test series (Sheilas v Dorises) ends in 2-0 triumph for Aussies. St Helens give the nation rare revenge by beating Sydney Roosters in rugby league's World Club Challenge. Shocks on the first day of the Six Nations: Wales beat Italy in Rome, France silence Twickenham by beating England. "We've got rid of our Grand Slam hopes early," says England coach Clive Woodward. "Now we can concentrate on the Triple Crown."

March: England's progress in the cricket World Cup in South Africa hit by players' refusal to play in Zimbabwe. "Come to think of it," they say, "we prefer not to go anywhere." Manchester United win the Worthington Cup, beating Sheffield United 2-0 at the Millennium Stadium. Then they record victories over Basle and Deportivo la Coruña to qualify for the Champions' League quarter-finals: "We're not too bothered about the Premiership," says Sir Alex Ferguson. English rugby plunged into gloom after defeat in Dublin by Triple Crown winners Ireland. Jonny Wilkinson misses 50 per cent of kicks. "His boots have been got at," says Woodward. Search for FA chief executive widened; relatives of all Premiership chairmen to be interviewed.

April: Tiger Woods refuses to take sides in the dispute about no lady members at Augusta National golf club but wins US Masters wearing a skirt. Having only drawn away to Liechtenstein in the Euro 2004 qualifiers, England manager Sven Goran Eriksson bows to public pressure by picking Rooney to play the second half against Turkey. Rooney scores twice in 3-2 defeat. Wales march on towards the finals with 2-2 draw in Yugoslavia. Tony McCoy wins the Grand National on Blowing Wind in the same month that he makes history by becoming the first jockey to ride 300 winners in a season.

May: Rooney picked to start for England in friendly against South Africa in Durban and scores hat-trick in 4-0 win after booking an early call at noon. Manchester United win FA Cup, beating Arsenal 1-0 in the final four days after clinching their Champions' League final spot. Then they beat Valencia to win Champions' League. In a long letter of congratulation to Chelsea manager Claudio Ranieri for winning the Premiership, Sir Alex talks warmly about a satisfying season. Search for FA chief executive spreads; advert put in Chelsea programme.

June: Brian Baru wins the Derby to record an Irish triumph for trainer Aidan O'Brien and jockey Mick Kinane. Rooney established in England team with rumbustious performance in friendly against Yugoslavia. England beat Slovakia 2-0 in vital qualifier. Rooney scores both goals, each time knocking over Michael Owen to get to the ball. "Wayne's a natural enthusiast," says Eriksson. Wimbledon gets under way with early-round victories for Tim Henman and a spectacular series of back spasms for Greg Rusedski.

July: After seven decades of British failure, Henman wins Wimbledon with a victory over Pete Sampras in a final that drives the Centre Court into a frenzy. Hundreds of fainting cases in the crowd have to wait for the ambulance men to bring Henman round first. In a month historic for its unexpected accomplishments, Colin Montgomerie finally wins his first major, The Open, at Sandwich. It was a long wait but somehow you always knew that when it came it would have something to do with food. England win the first two Tests against South Africa and the nation asks: have we all died and gone to heaven or have we gone mad and become the asylum they're all seeking?

August: South Africa win the Third and Fourth Tests to restore some normality. The football season starts and David Moyes denies anyone called Rooney is playing for Everton. Month dominated by Rugby World Cup preparation matches. England beat Wales in Cardiff and France in Marseille; a different team now that Wilkinson has rediscovered kicking form. Michael Schumacher wins Belgian Grand Prix to clinch world championship again. Bernie Ecclestone admits that making him drive with snow chains on his tyres didn't work. Search for FA chief executive widens to include anyone who can read and write as well as say "yes".

September: Wales draw in Italy to qualify for Euro 2004 finals as top of group. England scramble point in Macedonia after Rooney oversleeps but gain monumental 1-0 victory over Liechtenstein at home. Controversy over goalscorer. Did Rooney or Owen score? Video shows Rooney kicked back of Owen's boot which put ball in net. Rooney awarded goal, Owen out for a month. England beat France 15-3 at Twickenham (Wilkinson, pen 5) in final warm-up game before World Cup.

October: Rooney appointed captain of England after a private meeting with David Beckham. England travel to Turkey needing one point to qualify. Result is Turkey 3 England 3 after Rooney hat-trick. Rooney carried from pitch – by Turkish police. England get off to great start in Rugby World Cup and beat South Africa 30-0 (Wilkinson, pen 10) to win their group. FA chief executive appointed; name withheld until relatives informed.

November: England beat Wales in Rugby World Cup quarter-finals 36-0 (Wilkinson, pen 10, drop goals 2) and overcome France 12-9 in semis (Wilkinson, pen 4). England play Australia in final and after titanic tussle emerge 24-20 victors (Wilkinson, pen 7, drop goals 1) to signal an end to southern-hemisphere domination of rugby. Draw for Euro 2004 finals in Portugal pits England against Wales in same group. Owen offers to play for Wales.

December: Arsenal establish big lead in Premiership again; can they hold on to it this time? BBC Sports Personality of the Year vote a neck-and-neck race between McCoy, Wilkinson and Rooney, who is given permission to chew gum at the presentation. "It helps to keep him awake," explains the producer.