Open diary

Wind device is truly powerful

*All week the galleries have been screaming "It's behind you!" and those players who have dared to look have been confronted by a 40-ft metal creature which has followed their every move. One stunned professional said he "felt like an extra from Day of the Triffids" and only stopped shaking when told that it was a Unisys wind stick. In Muirfield's tented village – which is so big it should have it's own postcode – a Unisys spokesman revealed: "It measures, very accurately, in what direction and how fast the wind is moving. This information is instantly passed on to television stations all over the world." Unisys, who produce almost all the statistics displayed on television and on these pages, like to employ computers to do most of their dirty work, but, alas, primitive human beings have been found to carry the wind machines. One of the wind-men moaned yesterday that "my arms feels like jelly" after lugging the 20lb implement around the course for four and a half hours. Still, at least the money makes it worthwhile. "Money?" he said. "I'm a volunteer for the R&A." Now, not even the triffids wielded that sort of control.

*The main stands in the tented village advertise space-age drivers or holiday destinations. Andalucia, Ireland, Italy and even Southport entice you to take a trip with glossy brochures, free pens and pretty smiles. Right in the middle, wedged in between Ireland and East Scotland, is the Welsh stand which is so small that it resembles a kiosk. Indeed, more than one person has been turned away this week when asking for "a Mars bar and 20 Bensons, please". Why is the stand so small? "We don't really need to plug God's Country," came the reply. But even the Creator knows he will have to promote Paradise's courses if he ever wants golf fans to go there...

*There are plenty of things the Honourable Company of Edinburgh Golfers don't allow in their club – women, juniors, crocodiles, tarantulas – but they have, however grudgingly, allowed the members of press to use their clubhouse this week. It has been an uneasy alliance, as one member showed when saying to an acquaintance, loudly: "Why do the press get the run of the place? Look at them – they're like bloody vermin." Short of putting pellets down, one way the members have struck back has been by putting up a rope up directly outside the bar window. Here the press had gathered on Thursday to – shock, horror – watch the golf. But the members in the bar were furious that their view of the 18th green was being blocked. One of the 'Crevat Crew' rapped on the window before shouting: "Out of the way, God damn you – I can't see." Darren Clarke, at that moment hunched over a tricky four-foot putt, was fortunate not to be put off. But we cannot have the honourable members put off their Pimms now, can we?

*They say that rematches are never as good and so it proved yesterday with Colin Montgomerie and Rob Nothman. On Thursday, after a 74, the 'Full-of-it Monty' had told Nothman to go away in exceptionally unflattering terms as the Radio 5 Live interviewer was attempting to go about his work. But after yesterday's 64 he was sweetness personified. "I hope to be talking to you on Sunday evening," said the beaming Scot to him. What a difference 10 shots make.

*One of the great sights these past two days has been the Amateur champion, Alejandro Larrazabal (left), smacking hell out of the ball and then his brother-cum-caddy sprinting into the undergrowth to find it. It has been golf's very own version of 'Fetch' but sadly Pedro's breathless excursions have all been in vain as his older brother limped out with a 77, a 75 and an empty ball bag yesterday. As the Amateur champion, Alejandro is invited to compete in next year's Masters at Augusta but Pedro had better leave his trainers behind. "We don't allow running," an Augusta spokesman said.