Michael Phelps considered taking his own life at height of Olympic career

Speaking at the Kennedy Forum on mental health, the retired American swimmer opened up on his personal battles against anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts

'Really, after every Olympics I think I fell into a major state of depression' (Getty)

Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian of all time, has admitted he considered taking his own life on numerous occasions during his career.

Speaking at the Kennedy Forum on mental health, the retired American swimmer opened up on his personal battles against anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts.

Phelps, who won 23 gold Olympics medals during his illustrious 16-year career, revealed that he was at his most psychologically vulnerable following the conclusion of each Olympic Games.

“You do contemplate suicide,” he said.

“Really, after every Olympics I think I fell into a major state of depression.”

He identified a pattern of emotion “that just wasn’t right” at “a certain time during every year,” around the beginning of October or November, he said.

“I would say ‘04 was probably the first depression spell I went through.”

The 32-year-old reached an “all-time low” after the 2012 Games, admitting “I didn’t want to be alive anymore”.

During this period, the American locked himself in his bedroom for “three to five days”, not eating, barely sleeping and “just not wanting to be alive,” he said.

Michael Phelps was struck by depression after each Olympics (Shutterstock)

It was at this point that he reached out for professional help.

“I remember going to treatment my very first day, I was shaking, shaking because I was nervous about the change that was coming up,” Phelps said. “I needed to figure out what was going on.”

As he started to acknowledge and confront his emotions, “life became easy”.

“I said to myself so many times, ‘Why didn’t I do this 10 years ago?’ But, I wasn’t ready,” he continued.

Phelps eventually bowed out from the sport following Rio 2016, where he won five gold medals and one silver to make him the most successful athlete of the Games for the fourth Olympics in a row.

Phelps spoke candidly during his appearance at the Kennedy Forum (Getty)

But, for him, such success didn’t come close to the “emotions” involved in eventually overcoming his mental struggles.

“Those moments and those feelings and those emotions for me are light years better than winning the Olympic gold medal.

“I am extremely thankful that I did not take my life.”

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