QUOTES OF THE WEEK

n Monster, monster shocked. Eric Hall, Dennis Wise's agent, reacting to the news of the Chelsea footballer's three-month jail sentence for assaulting a taxi driver.

n Leave my hero alone. Eric Hall to photographers as Wise left court after being sentenced.

n I have spoken to many taxi drivers and the majority are saying they will not pick him [Wise] up. Bob Oddy, general secretary of the Licensed Taxi Drivers Association.

n I threw the water because the linesman seemed deaf. Diego Maradona, coach of Argentinian First Division team, Racing Club, sent off after throwing a water bag at an official.

n Seven games we've lost 1-0. Another seven we've drawn 0-0. If we had drawn the 1-0 games we'd lost we would have another seven points; if the seven goalless draws had been 1-0 to us we would have 28 points more and we would be third in the Premier League. Fourteen more goals could have meant 28 more points to us. Alan Smith, Crystal Palace manager and eternal optimist.

n The next time we play, I'll get him. Bjorn Borg's rivalry with Jimmy Connors, now taking place on the Senior Tour, shows no sign of abating after more than 20 years

n It is like asking someone to run the London Marathon in shoes two sizes too small. Mika Hkkinen, Formula One driver, on Nigel Mansell's problem of fitting in to the new McLaren car.

n It would be the greatest happening since P T Barnum. It would be like the elephant standing on two legs, the man being shot out of a canon, the woman with a beard down to the floor. It would be greatest show on earth. George Foreman on the prospect of fighting Mike Tyson.