QUOTES OF THE WEEK

n I'm not mad. I cannot do it. If I train every day, I will die. Diego Maradona, on Boca Juniors' offer to take him back if he undertakes to train every day.

n I felt like I'd been hit by a baseball bat. I have a little bone at the side of my nose that sometimes comes out of place, and I have to push it back in. Colin Hendry, Scotland defender, on his self-performed surgery during the World Cup win over Estonia.

n There's a fundamental flaw in our game and it's called bureaucracy. Lazy committee members need to get off their backsides and make a 10-year plan. I hope it reaches crisis point. Someone has to wake up at two in the morning and realise we are in the shit. Neville Southall, Wales goalkeeper, on the state of Welsh football, after World Cup defeat to Belgium.

n He was out of control. He was like a bear. He has definitely hit rock bottom. All I can do is talk to him - you cannot lock a horse in a barn. Fuzzy Zoeller, golfer and John Daly's friend, on the Wild Thing's latest battle with the bottle.

n There is life after Williams. Damon Hill, of Arrows, after he finished ahead of Williams's Heinz-Harald Frentzen in the Brazilian Grand Prix.

n This is a highly sought-after location. We don't want someone rolling up and making it look like some kind of gypsy encampment. Neighbour of Frode Grodas, after the Chelsea goalkeeper was refused permission by his local residents' association to put up a satellite dish.

n I don't want to be anyone's assistant but I'd go to Manchester United as the kit manager. Sammy McIlroy, Macclesfield manager and former United player, on his career ambitions.