Colourless Quins rely on boot of Burke

Harlequins 15 Bath 8

"You ain't seen nothing like the Mighty Quinn", as they like to blast into every one's eardrums around these parts. And this was certainly nothing like the mighty Quins, rather a half-baked home effort that was nevertheless enough to see off Bath in a meeting of Premiership underchievers that showed just why they are at the wrong end of the table.

Four penalty goals by Paul Burke and another by Mark Mapletoft helped Harlequins step a rung or two up the Premiership ladder following Northampton's defeat at Sale, while Bath collected a bonus point for finishing within seven points. Bully for both of them. For most of the 5,000 or so people present it was a matter of intense relief to know they could steal away at the final whistle and watch a quality match from Dublin on the television.

Churlish, perhaps, but what other way to react to a game in which play rarely developed beyond one or two phases, and then only when one side coughed up possession to the other? Yes, there were mitigating circumstances, chief among them that Bath's playmaker, Mike Catt, and Quins' engine-room stokers, Jason Leonard and Keith Wood, were among several regulars required for the international. Nothing, though, could entirely explain the dropped passes in contact, and sundry other lapses in basic skills that tried the patience of all but the most benevolent.

Harlequins' head coach, John Kingston, admitted that the spectator had been ill-served. At least the passion that Kingston had called for in a four-hour training session last Sunday, after the 33-7 roasting at Gloucester, was apparent. "But," Kingston said, "our three key players last season were Keith Wood, David Wilson and Will Greenwood and, between them, they've made three out of a possible 18 appearances in the Premiership so far."

In Wood's absence, one of Quins' Samoan hookers, Tani Fuga, had not trained all week, and another, Ace Tiatia, only arrived last Monday to begin a three-month contract. Kingston supplied his own tape recorder for the post-match press conference after claiming he was mis-quoted in midweek on the subject of Greenwood's fitness for England duty. A telephoned message to Clive Woodward put that straight.

As for getting Quins' performance right, the short verdict was that defence won the day. Bath were missing Iain Balshaw, Mike Tindall, Matt Perry and Kevin Maggs as well as Catt, and Olly Barkley, despite bearing all the hallmarks of a future England fly-half, was unable to spark a back division with an average age of 20. Quins were quick to close Barkley down, with some smashing first-up tackles.

Burke's 40-metre penalty opened the scoring after three minutes, and from the restart Quins essayed a useful driving maul, although it was a tactic they were to dally with rather than rely upon. Two more penalties by Burke, either side of a miss from Barkley, pushed the hosts out to 9-0, then Barkley punished a ruck offence with Bath's first points towards the end of the first quarter.

The playlist of Quins' DJ never seems to change, so there was the predictable "Ready to Go" which seems to pop up at every club in the country. "Things Can Only Get Better" would have been more appropriate, not that they did, save when Bath, having seen Burke make it 12-3, broke the mould with the only try after 59 minutes. Mapletoft's kick into the Bath 22 was tidied up by Gavin Thomas and Stuart Bellinger, and Barkley launched a counter-attack to the left. Alex Crockett and Tom Voyce moved it on at pace, and Barkley's superb link with a pass off the floor left the scrum-half, Andy Williams, playing solitaire as he headed for the left corner flag, with Mapletoft's cover tackle arriving too late.

Burke had watched the move from a prone position, and went off to be replaced by Ryan O'Neill, who together with Mapletoft was strikingly unable to pin Bath back with the boot. Nick Greenstock, instead, took it on himself to drive into Bath with a brave charge from a scrum, Bath went over the top, and Mapletoft booted a 45-metre penalty goal which bounced through off the bar.

"We'll probably have had our full side for one game in nine," said Bath's coach, Jon Callard, referring to further fixture clashes with Tests to come. "It's frustrating but those are the cards we've been dealt, and we've got to use them." Quins played their Ace, Tiatia, but he had an enervating debut. A couple of line-out steals by another replacement, Alex Codling, finished the job.

Harlequins 15 Bath 8

Pens: Burke 4, Mapletoft Try: Williams, Pen: Barkley

Half-time: 9-3 Attendance: 5,328

Harlequins: M Mapletoft; M Moore, N Burrows, N Greenstock, R Jewell; P Burke (R O'Neill, 62), S Bemand (M Powell, 31-61); A Olver, T Fuga (A Tiatia, 55; Fuga, 72-77), J Dawson (B Starr, 55), G Morgan (capt), S White-Cooper, P Sanderson, T Diprose (A Codling, 67), T Tamarua.

Bath: S Bellinger; R Thirlby (S Danielli, 78), A Crockett, S Cox, T Voyce; O Barkley, A Williams; D Barnes, M Regan (A Long, 67), J Mallett (S Emms, 61), M Gabey, A Beattie, G Thomas, D Lyle (capt), N Thomas.

Referee: C White (Cheltenham).