Mission impossible for man who did it all

Martin Johnson played his final competitive rugby match yesterday afternoon. And Leicester lost.

Martin Johnson played his final competitive rugby match yesterday afternoon. And Leicester lost.

That is doubtless how Johnson would prefer the occasion was recorded. The rest of us - whether among the 70,000 spectators at Twickenham or those beyond who avidly or idly followed Johnson's unique career - desire a tad more detail. This was the going of a legend, though the route through the exit could not have been more painful.

There were farewells of all sorts here but it was Johnson's giant body, in exhausted repose at the final whistle, that all eyes were trained upon. Well, almost all.

Johnson's beady pair were trained on Lawrence Dallaglio lifting the Premiership trophy. What a way to go. Johnson put a beetle-browed brave face on it and the king of Middle England abdicated with a smile, would you believe, for another old warhorse, Wasps' retiring All Black prop Craig Dowd.

Johnson had insisted beforehand that yesterday's match had to be treated like any other. Wasps ruined it for him, but Johnson would have done the same to them, given the chance. Calling time at Twickers like this was anti-climactic, collecting a loser's medal on the winners' podium, but the crowd rose to Johnson nevertheless. They stood and applauded, loud and long; he gave them a perfunctory wave.

"It's difficult to take," said Johnson, before he peeled the final green No 4 jersey from his battered frame, "not because it was my last game, but because we had much more to give. Credit to Wasps, they were the better team. We didn't play direct and never got ourselves into the game."

So the lad who put the "rough" into Market Harborough and grew to be the leader of Leicester, England and the Lions bowed out after 500-odd first-class matches - including 362 for Leicester, 84 for England and the last eight Tests played by the British and Irish Lions. From no-name in the engine room to captain of the ship, Johnson did it all. But even he could not win a match by will alone.

At kick-off, with a dollop of Vaseline on the tip of his nose, Johnson hurtled into the chase and a half-successful tackle on Paul Sackey, and another 80 minutes were under way. The last 80 minutes. There was the familiar teeth-bared grimace of Johnno squeezed in the maul like a tube of toothpaste; the fight for possession, breathing space, an edge, a result. In the second half, with Leicester chasing a 13-point deficit, Johnson slammed a forearm around Matt Dawson's Adam's apple. "Too high," said the referee. "On his chest," said Johnson. Make that a 16-point deficit.

When he trudged to his own posts after Mark van Gisbergen's decisive last-quarter try, Johnson left the rallying cries to Martin Corry and Austin Healey.

This retirement has had a run-up longer than an Australian fast bowler. Johnson, the one-time bank clerk, has been at self-effacing pains to point out his debit column of World Cup defeats, Lions series lost, cup finals that got away. Add this to the list. The fellow with the demeanour of Burke and Hare was helpless as Wasps' Birkett and Shaw ruled the second row.

What the hell will he do on Saturday afternoons from now on, save the fun-time exercise back here in June of a testimonial match against a Jonah Lomu XV? A stint on Celebrity Love Island? Probably not.

Johnson has let few details slip. He will have a week in Zambia with his wife in the autumn, and make the odd visit to Welford Road. Business-wise, he has a bouncy castle-sized cushion from his testimonial and a part-time commitment in commercial property (Johnson would be rather useful to negotiate your annual rent). A return to rugby in a year or two is more or less all we know.

History will be a kinder judge than Wasps and their aggressive defence. Comparisons are invidious, but we know that in a game in which all players are equal, in his era Johnson was more equal than the others. Willie John McBride, another great Lion, identified him as the man who won the World Cup for England, and that - as with Bobby Moore in football - is quite enough.

ROLL OF HONOUR

England caps: 84 (42 captain) Lions caps: 8 (6 captain).

Honours: World Cup 2003; Grand Slam 1995, 2003; Six Nations 1996, 2000, 2001; Heineken Cup 2001, 2002; Premiership 1995, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002; Championship 2001; Cup 1993, 1997.