From Boris Johnson’s flailing government to wrinkle-fighting bras, we’re living in a state of endless confusion

The prime minister has the same look in his eyes as I do when I’m confronted with complicated technology. He’s baffled, we’re all baffled. If only we could stick a pin in the the country and reset the whole thing

I’ve spent the past week in a state of confusion, I think we all have. In fact, come to think of it, for the past few years the entire country seems to have been blundering around, ricocheting off the walls, tripping over the furniture, talking rubbish and making a hash of everything.

Last week, Boris Johnson tried to pretend to a man who collared him in a hospital corridor that his accompanying camera crew didn’t exist, only they obviously did because the whole incident was seen on our screens. Meanwhile, David Cameron got muddled on Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield’s This Morning and ended up saying he “shat” when he first saw the big red “Vote Leave” bus. He meant that he “shouted” but they all dissolved into sofa giggles anyway, because what else can you do?

My own usual feelings of discombobulation were further exacerbated by a series of small personal upsets that left me floundering helplessly. It began with a picture on the internet of a bra/harness contraption that promised to alleviate a wrinkly cleavage. But hold on, cleavage is a wrinkle. In fact, it’s one big wrinkle, and if you alleviate it, then what have you got?