CAPTAIN MOONLIGHT

TRYING for size: in Australia, they have a different attitude to penal problems. I bet Michael Howard and Derek Lewis wish they had come up with this one: koala tagging! You don't get far with one of these little beauties hanging on to your leg, I can tell you. Determined little blighters, rest assured. And extremely noticeable. More serious offenders have wombats to contend with. Now I know what you're thinking, Mike and Derek: there are few koalas in this country, and fewer wombats. And you're right. You're paid a lot of money to notice things like that. But we do have a lot of squirrels. Well, of course I'm joking. Actually, it's a dramatic shot from David Attenborough's It's Really Wild Outback taken in the instant before filming had to be c ancelled. Sir David is said to be as comfortable as can be expected. All right, all right, it's a 10-month-old baby koala which has been adopted by a wildlife park outside Adelaide after it was found wandering alone in the bush. According to the caption, it iswaiting to be fed its favourite meal of gum leaves. Aahh.

Photograph: AP