Cooper Brown: The Nanny

I had H-F again for the whole day as Victoria was lunching with “pals”. She seems to be going out more and more on her own but always counters that it’s “part of the job”or “networking”.

That used to be my line but it looks like I’ve been successfully hijacked into becoming Mr Mom.We do have a nanny but she is new and Victoria doesn’t trust her yet. She is from Moldova – I have no idea where that is but assume it’s somewhere Russian. Her English is pretty good and she is not uneasy on the eye. Sadly, she seems to be impervious to the Cooper charms. H-F was sleeping and I put some moves on her and she pretended to be appalled. This one is going to take a little longer than usual to crack. I changed tack and tried to pretend that I was interested in her life.

I asked her why she’d come over to the UK. “Becozz, more money here, better life than home.” I asked her what she did when she was back home. “I polizzwoman.” It turns out that our new nanny was a cop who specialised in investigating the scary amount of murders that occur in her home town of Chisnau. She even caught a serial killer – if I understood her correctly. I told Victoria when she came back and she went mental. She said she didn’t want someone like that looking after H-F. I was dumbfounded - what did she want, then, a serial killer? Sometimes I don’t get her at all. I can’t stop thinking about her in a police uniform now – is that wrong? Cooper Out.

Twitter – @icooperbrown