Grace Dent on Flappy Birds: Getting into a flap can be beautiful

Poor Dong Nguyen, the pressure was too much

The creator of the game Flappy Birds has got himself into an emotional flap after the game was downloaded over 50 million times and began earning him a reported £30,000 per day.

The fame, the feedback, and the pressure “ruins my simple life”, said poor Dong Nguyen, before removing it from online stores. There’s something rather beautiful about this tale of a man who created one of those ridiculous timewasting games and then chucked it all away to pay attention to his own inner voice. I hope he flaps off on a smashing recuperative holiday with his big bags of revenue. He sounds like he needs it.

From now on, I’m only sponsoring people in mortal danger

Sport Relief appears to have been in the process of trying to kill Davina McCall in the Lake District for charity purposes.

Television footage of Davina’s lifeless-looking body being carried from Lake Windermere after she swam a mile at dawn in the freezing cold lake was horrific to watch.

The nervous applause of the crowd as she was carted away semi-conscious was rather haunting. Davina is a formidable presence, I have faith in her endeavours.

I hope she doesn’t die during this week of challenges because as a nation we have grown very fond of her.

The current array of charity appeal ideas and events grows ever more ludicrous. On the same day as Davina’s superhuman task, elsewhere a man was being feted by news agencies as a fundraising hero for “wearing a different novelty T-shirt every day for a year”.

That’s not a challenge, mate. It’s called getting dressed. T-shirt man can go and sit with Mr “I want sponsorship for my Peru trek/mid-life crisis”, and those breathless sloths who want to be sponsored for walking a mile.

From now on I’ll only dig deep if there’s a good chance of your grizzly demise or, at the very least, a severe maiming.

“They did a lot of good work for charity,” I’ll say. “But they’re dead now so they can’t talk about it.”