My partner keeps expressing unwanted opinions about my hair - how best to tell him to clear off?

When Alison told her boyfriend she was getting her hair coloured his comment was, "Don't do anything too drastic"

Alison Taylor
Saturday 30 January 2016 01:56

Hair and what you do with it, I've realised, is a real sticking point between men and women. There's someone I know who got married recently and soon after the nuptials had her hair cut into a bob. It's not exactly a Sinéad O'Connor circa "Nothing Compares 2U", is it?

Nonetheless, her new husband, post-wedding and post-the-bob (which she hadn't even told him about in advance because we women often make spontaneous – read "rash" in man speak – decisions about our hair depending on mood/the moon/Grazia) actually said the words: "I didn't marry a woman with a bob." Jeez.

Now I know that is pretty outrageous and controlling but he's not alone in his views. I had my hair coloured recently and told my boyfriend that's what I was planning to do, not to get his approval but to let him know what I was up to, much like if I'd been going to yoga or to meet a friend. He didn't say anything straightaway but on The Morning of The Potential New Hair Do, his comment was, "Don't do anything too drastic with your hair".

It was tempting to at this point to say, "What, like when you had a Mohican in the 90s? Or an undercut? Or the exact same haircut as Paul Weller when he had his big Mod comeback?" My fella is no stranger to a "do" himself. He's also reasonably adventurous when it comes to clothes and rarely comments on my more challenging outfits. But hair? I can see the fear in his eyes.

I mooted the idea of a Debbie Harry platinum blonde – I moot this approximately every six months – and he said "No", with the confidence of Alan Sugar. When I mentioned the dreaded bob – well, he lost it. "This happens every time. You get your hair cut into a bob and then you regret it because you can't do anything with it and so you grow it again". The correct response was, "Yes. And?"


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