Middle Class Problems: What do you do when you cross paths with your colleague on the office walk-past?

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As you walk across the hushed, open-plan office floor, where occasional sneezes break the silence like thunder, you notice a fellow worker, maybe 20m away, walking towards you.

Immediately, as if you were some repressed incarnation of Robocop, a series of computations dart before your eyes. Where is his desk? His desk is in the corner, by the water-cooler, in the direction you have just come from. So yes, you will definitely have to cross paths. How well do you know him? Once, a few months ago, you swapped information on some piece of business or other. You think you emailed him. You may have mentioned the football.

Football. A step towards familiarity. So what, for god's sake, do you do in that instant when you cross paths? Smile? Is that enough? Say "hello"? Stop for a chat? Or affect the Oh-I've-Just-Forgotten-Something dance and head back in the direction you've just come from? Hang on: are you really so inhibited that you're fretting over this more than you do the health of your children?

Yes: but no time for that now. At the last possible opportunity, you whip your gaze off to the right and affect a slight frown, as if lost in a sudden, profound reverie. He can't argue with that.

But wait: what was that aborted, barely audible whisper that briefly filled the air between you? Had he made a move and decided to say hello?

No matter. In the happy glow of post-walk-past euphoria, you congratulate yourself on having made the right decision. In office terms, you didn't know that man from Adam. 1