The Sketch: Impressive? They should all be in jail for crimes against democracy

What a stunning Budget; it certainly stunned us up here in the Gallery. The most boring Budget of the Government's two terms. We took a relentless pounding. I thought I could take any amount of tapering benefits and tax credits and flat-rate VAT self-assessment, but eventually, even my spirits sank like a soufflé. You just can't listen to it. It's literally unbearable.

I took to wondering how much tax we paid. It's not something we normally know. Maybe that's what Budgets are for, to conceal this important fact. For those in the higher bracket, we probably pass over 60 to 65 per cent of our pay to the state. Income tax, national insurance, VAT on much of what we buy, duty on alcohol, petrol, house sales. No wonder the Chancellor doesn't want us to hear what he says. In a six-day working week we're through to Friday morning before we're earning for ourselves. Four days out of a six-day week are spent working for the state. How did that happen?

Mr Brown made a number of oblique references to the euro. There was one suggestion that our economy was converging with euroland's (which is a prerequisite for joining the currency), but there were four indications that we weren't. Thus: Long-term interest rates and unemployment levels are lower here than there. Our growth is twice theirs and euro-land has a much lower rate of home ownership. The other sign of convergence was that our pension arrangements have been comprehensively sodomised by the political class. Mr Brown thought better of bringing that matter up. This may mean that he is ruling out a referendum. Or very possibly the opposite.

Other than this there was a catalogue of maddening schemes covering everything from the small firms loan guarantee scheme to Islamic mortgages. He is everywhere. No wonder he needs so much of our money. He raised the threshold for inheritance tax to £255,000 and said triumphantly that 95 per cent of all estates would pay no inheritance tax. What a profoundly depressing fact. Ninety-five per cent of us are so poor that we die worth less than £250k. I suddenly felt like the Labour MP last week declaring an interest.

When Tories declare an interest they say they've got five Bentleys or a million shares in ICI: the interest this poor sap declared was that he lived next to the sewage farm in question. It's what comes of working four days out of six for Gordon Brown.

There was a crack he made towards the end about those moral cockroaches who would make people pay for health services. It was a clear attack on Alan Milburn and Tony Blair, and possibly unwise in the medium term. ("Toe-knee! Toe-knee!" they chant in Baghdad now, "Deliver us a radical plan for reforming public services!")

You may not have noticed that the Sketch's policy has been not to mention the Leader of the Opposition any more. But his absence is no more noticeable than his presence. And to be fair ... someone else will have to finish that thought for me. His material is terrific, but the credit for that goes to the Government. The impression he makes remains nugatory. We heard that insolvencies are at their worst level for a decade. Savings have halved since 1997. Taxes are up by 50 per cent. Waiting lists remain at a million.

The Chancellor's forecasts are rubbish: two Budgets ago he was going to borrow £35bn; now the forecasts are £98 bn. Why doesn't this rally support to the Tories? They have no idea. They should all be in jail for crimes against democracy.

John Redwood spoke later and made the first refutation I've heard of Labour's favourite canard: "The Tories want to cut public spending by 20 per cent across the board." Mr Redwood said the proposal was to reduce the overhead rather than current spending by that figure. What? Work for the state until Thursday lunchtime rather than Thursday night? It hardly lights a tall fire in the mind, but at least it's a spark.

Simoncarr75@hotmail.com