The Sketch: Scottish fog and the dead goat syndrome

In Cold Comfort Farm, Robert Post's child is taken to one side by a gnarled old countryman; she is given details of the ancient wrong that has blighted all their lives. We don't hear what the feud consisted of, but after a long while listening, Flora concludes her part of the tutorial with the words: "And did the goat die?"

That's what tribal life is like. There's always a dead goat in the background. Feuds are what hold the community together. You look out for your neighbour so you can report what on earth they thought they were wearing. The reason we can get on so well in our large, complex, democratic society is that we don't know each other, and by and large try to keep out of each other's way. But there's much more than dead goats in, say, Iraq's tribal life, so we can only pray for our leader's democratic plans for that smashed-up country.

These reflections are prompted by Scottish questions yesterday. Completely unintelligible to outsiders. Ancient wrongs. Tribal feuds. Dead goats everywhere. Jacqui Lait said that she had been in the Scottish Office in the 1970s. "We ruled out a central airport because of fog, and nothing's changed!" Yes, 30 years of Scottish fog is the only reason the dead goats haven't been cleared up.

It was impossible to make sense of anything. Linda Clarke mocked someone who asked whether the Advocate General had been consulted on the deregulation of Scottish pharmacies. The poor fool hadn't understood that competition Scotland Act policy occupied Scottish Executive a very meant that complicated intersection devolved matters between the Department of Trade with both the Lord Advocate and the Solicitor General. Someone may be able to rearrange the above into an answer that will answer any Scottish question.

John Reid is also Scottish, I notice, very much like the rest of the Government. He is the new Leader of the House, and put in his first appearance yesterday.

Mr Reid is a man in whom the Labour culture vibrates. That sounds like a compliment. It's certainly not meant to be. But the Leader of the House often rises above – or fails to rise into – party politics, and by representing the House of Commons against the Government, he can enjoy the fierce tribal loyalty of the House of Commons (it's all the dead goats they have in common, Mr Reid being quite a famous slayer in his own right).

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