Refuse to swap holiday with a parent in your office if you want – but can’t we all be more understanding?

From my perspective as a parent with two children, who’s taken multiple trips to Disney, I think it’s worth a pause to examine what exactly is so special about it in the first place

Disney World has long been given the moniker “the happiest place on earth” and it really can live up to the name. So, you might well wonder why would anyone try to prevent kids from experiencing its magic. Yet that’s what’s happened – a woman refused to reschedule her planned holiday so that her coworker could take her children to the theme park on a last-minute trip.

Evie, who goes by the username @evmariexo on TikTok, recounted the situation in a video posted in October, in which she said: “I walked right out of his office, I walked right up to her desk, and I was like: ‘Listen Karen, I just talked to Bob and I know he said that you wanted to take your kids and for me to give you my week, but I’m sorry, I’m just not going to do that.”

Yet it’s not quite as simple as it might first appear. Evie’s situation is unique (she’d booked her own holiday months in advance and had planned to visit family, whereas her co-worker had only given 48 hours notice) – and many have (understandably) sided with her on social media. In the caption of the video, which has since been viewed more than 10 million times, Evie included the hashtags #childfree and #childfreebychoice.

Here is my perspective as a parent with two children, who’s taken multiple trips to Disney: I think it’s worth a pause to examine what exactly is so special about it in the first place (and yes, what might make us desperate to take our kids there). And I’m worried we’re seeing rather more anger and intolerance directed at kids overall than we should (just look at this viral video of a passenger shouting at a baby on a plane).

I remember my first visit as a child where I was swept up in the drama and majesty of the place (particularly the evening parades and firework displays), long days on our feet and that euphoric feeling where you’re allowed to stay up until late, eyes filled with tears of elation and exhaustion.

This was a small joy compared to the day I got to see my children experience it for the first time – truly a moment of magic. From Main Street to the Magic Kingdom’s, “It’s a Small World”, the experience is slick, fantastical, and designed to immerse you in a make-believe world. High octane rides, special shows, quaint streets complete with sweet smells wafting out of shops and meet and greet opportunities with your favourite Disney characters: what’s not to love?

I feel utterly privileged to have been able to take my two girls there from an early age.... not least because it’s so damn expensive. Just a single day visit to one of the parks is extortionate. I’m lucky that my trips have not included the cost of accommodation – as my family live in the US, and so travel there has not been solely to wave a hand at Mickey or Minnie. Instead, the reason I’ve been able to go there with some regularity is that my parents and siblings emigrated to California many years ago and happen to live close to the original park in Anaheim.

However, for many, going to Disney is a holiday of a lifetime that often requires huge amounts of planning preparation and money. With school-aged children and fines for missing days in class during term time it’s no wonder that parents look hard to find last minute bargains and deals.

And I say this as a school teacher who can see how disruptive it can be to have children away from class during term time. But I can also appreciate the plight of parents wanting to give their children experiences while they are still young and able to appreciate the magic. So, yes – I can understand why a parent might be desperate to grab a last-minute opportunity with both hands with the hope that someone might allow them to take their children on a dream holiday.

And even though it’s pricey, I wouldn’t ever take the experience back. I’ve had the joy of watching my children throw themselves into it at varying ages – and each time they see it through a different lens. It’s always special. They get a different view of Walt’s world on each visit.

In their early years, it was all about dressing up as and meeting their favourite princesses, whereas on their last visit, both my girls were in their teens and able to embrace the thrill of rides and the spectacle of the place. Now that they’re older, the magic is more in the shared experience, rather than a belief that Tinkerbell is really flying above their heads.

In my view, it is not reasonable to assume that someone else should fulfil this dream by cancelling their own annual leave. It is also unacceptable to try and vilify someone for standing their ground and putting themselves first – after all, it is becoming more and more important for people to safeguard their own sanity and wellbeing in the face of increased workloads and rising costs.

But I do think we can all learn from putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes, and stop being so judgemental. Even if those shoes are ruby slippers.