Counter-strike

Among the many improbable scripts being written for the new year, the news that the military top brass are pressing for a big pay rise for the armed forces prompts a thought on how things might turn out in a universe only subtly different from our own.

Among the many improbable scripts being written for the new year, the news that the military top brass are pressing for a big pay rise for the armed forces prompts a thought on how things might turn out in a universe only subtly different from our own.

Defence chiefs are said to think their troops deserve at least as much as the firefighters, who are heading towards what headline-writers call an inflation-busting rise despite all the Prime Minister's tough talk. As soldiers managed to do the firefighters' work while moonlighting from their day jobs, their arguments are unanswerable – but the armed forces are not permitted to strike.

If only they could. That would be an industrial action that really would command popular support. So long as war looms in Iraq, let British squaddies warm their hands around the braziers here.