Joking apart

For those who may not have been paying full attention for the 15 minutes she was famous, Samantha Marson is the British student who tried to brighten the day of a Miami customs official. The episode might be summarised as: bright, optimistic purpose; poor execution. As a service to readers, we offer this cut-out-and-keep guide to lines best avoided. 1. There's a bomb in my bag. 2. Yes, there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. 3. I blame my secretary for e-mailing the wrong version of the article. There are good reasons why the English abroad should stick to pleasantries about the weather.