Men, know your place

Two new surveys from the University of Life bring disturbing tidings: DIY is in decline; GSI is on the rise. Get Someone In. Many will greet the news with relief, reaching for the chequebook and asking: "What's the zloty exchange rate?"

Two new surveys from the University of Life bring disturbing tidings: DIY is in decline; GSI is on the rise. Get Someone In. Many will greet the news with relief, reaching for the chequebook and asking: "What's the zloty exchange rate?"

But we mourn. We really do. The arrival of cheap labour from Eastern Europe and elsewhere has deprived the British male of another arena in which to display his masculinity and ingenuity. That leaves only map reading, bringing in the luggage and the barbecue. Across the land, the cry "what are men for?" is growing louder.