Mine's a large Welsh

Doesn't have the same ring, does it? Welsh on the rocks, please. Straight Welsh. Welsh whisky mac. I need a stiff Welsh.

Never mind: you can get used to anything in the name of progress. And the European Commission's grant of 1m euros to the Brecon Beacons to help re-establish the Welsh whisky industry is undoubtedly progress. It is all part of the European Union's drive to preserve regional and local identities: no one else is allowed to call their ham Parma or their cheese Roquefort or their champagne, er, Champagne or their whisky Scotch. But there is no law against Welsh eggs or butterwelsh.

And if the Scots do not like the extra competition, let them fight back with Scots rarebit. Double Welshes all round.