Support your local Tesco! If you think the supermarket behemoth is worth saving, that is

It has been a tragic week for the most gracious of our supermarkets.

From its humble East End roots in the aftermath of the Great War, little Tesco finally beat the big boys to become the UK’s major food retailer in the 1990s. And how our hearts loved what it generously had to offer: cheap prices; giant stores; the all-pervading blue, red and white logo – like a triumphal, deconstructed Union flag.

Yet our poor old friend is tottering. Accounting black holes, high-profile resignations and tumbling profits – only a piffling £783m according to the wolf at the door. Tesco never took us for granted! Now we should return the favour. Head to your nearest branch, load up your trolley and get Tesco’s sad, empty tills ringing again.

Should your snivelling local artisan react querulously as you pass him with your handsome and never-prone-to-split carrier bags, throw him a Value tissue and tell him he’s fine, but it is our duty to keep Tesco Finest.