Taxing issue

Politicians, we have often noticed, possess a gift for kicking the already prone that is shared only, possibly, by leader-writers. So, with our footballers currently sandwiched between accusations of ingratitude and stupidity, and poor Sir Elton's retail habits continuing to entertain us, we knew it wouldn't be long before some MP or other wandered over with a raised boot. Thank you, then, Alan Simpson (Labour) for the suggestion that soccer players and pop stars, inter alios, should pay a special tax on their earnings.

Politicians, we have often noticed, possess a gift for kicking the already prone that is shared only, possibly, by leader-writers. So, with our footballers currently sandwiched between accusations of ingratitude and stupidity, and poor Sir Elton's retail habits continuing to entertain us, we knew it wouldn't be long before some MP or other wandered over with a raised boot. Thank you, then, Alan Simpson (Labour) for the suggestion that soccer players and pop stars, inter alios, should pay a special tax on their earnings.

Down here in the Third Leader Department, though, we are not sure that Mr Simpson is going quite far enough. It is time for some more imaginative, specific and, as the jargon has it, "targeted" special taxes, as follows:

1) Prawn sandwiches. 2) Lawyers. 3) More than five visits to the florist a week. 4) People going on about Inspector Morse. 5) Manufacturers of "must have" Christmas toys. 6) Persistent attenders at film premiÿres and music awards. 7) Off-road vehicles on road, and outside school. 8) Jokes about David Beckham. 9) Thongs. 10) Cruel Labour MPs. Thank you.