If Kim Kardashian must eat her placenta, she should at least do it right

Conveniently, Kim's app is the only place where you can find full details of her experience, as well as an advert for the company that provided the service

Kim Kardashian, the ultimate 'celebrity mum', and her daughter North West (Kim Kardashian)

I know she’s no Florence Nightingale, or Malala Yousafzai, or Gloria Epstein, but I quite like Kim Kardashian.

She does what she wants, makes her own money, and most importantly: she’s my bum idol. Every time I eat a packet of crisps I feel immediately better because of Kim. If they make my bum bigger, that’s ok because Kim Kardashian has a big bum. And she’s made it no longer a bad thing; in fact, Kim is arguably solely responsible for making ‘yes’ the new correct answer to the question ‘does my bum look big in this?’

She has the power to make anything cool – whether that’s a crazy baby name, Draco Malfoy hair, or a fashion collection entirely composed of beige clothing.

But today it was revealed she had turned to a totally new trend. That is, the strange area of childbirth cuisine. As soon as the Saint came marching out of Kim’s body, doctors were fast to bag up her placenta and transport it to a Los Angeles encapsulation company, where it was transformed into tablets for her culinary delight.

While childbirth choices are immensely personal, I’m slightly disturbed by the whole marketing of the procedure. Because, it seems to me, that in this equation, the placenta is no better than a promotional t-shirt, used to advertise Kim’s app (the only place where you can find full details of her experience, as well as an advert for the company that provided the service).

Speaking about why she got the procedure, Kim has said it was to protect against postpartum depression. This is a common reason women now fancy some placenta: according to my midwife friend, the hormone progesterone drops significantly after having a baby, which can make you feel depressed. And, as the placenta is packed with progesterone, many think eating it will cheer you up.

However, there still isn’t much evidence at all to suggest the placenta has any health benefits – and midwives do not recommend it. My midwife friend even told me that eating your placenta is actually quite last year, and it’s all about vaginal seeding now (a totally different – and equally gross – kettle of fish).

But we all know that with Kim’s endorsement, it’s likely that a whole load of other women will be considering things like placenta lasagna and smoothies. And yes, those recipes do exist. At least their creators had the right idea, though. If you’re going to eat your placenta, you should have a bit of imagination about it.

If I was going to have mine, I’d want it with some chips, or maybe a jacket potato. Anything’s got to be tastier than some pills. If I had as much money as Kardashian, I’d probably have Michel Roux holding my hand in the birthing suite. ‘Medium rare’, I would whisper into his ear as he warmed up the frying pan.

But truth be told, I’m probably not going to ever follow this particular Kardashian movement. She might be my bum idol, but she is certainly not my birthing one. When it comes to fashion, I say stick to the trendsetters; and when it comes to birthing, I say listen to the scientists. And, thank God, the scientists continue to say: no need to eat your placenta.