Double platinum albums? A £3million party palace? Acne-free? You'd think life as a member of teenage boyband One Direction would be smooth sailing - but today's Daily Star reports otherwise.
"Members of the band are struggling to keep up their goody-two-shoes image". Their management has banned the boys "from openly sleeping with fans, getting drunk or smoking in public".
The lads made a sullen appearance on Alan Carr's Channel 4 talk-show Chattyman - refusing to be drawn on the subject of girlfriends - and the final show ran only 13 minutes of a 25-minute interview.
Blogger Perez Hilton predicts a split - with Zayn (the quiffier one) first to hop out the teeny-bopper goldfish bowl.
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