Who can blame McCain for not having the Trumps at his funeral? I know how I’d do mine

I always leave a funeral thinking it could have benefitted from better music, glitzier decor and a more interesting guest list

Janet Street-Porter
Friday 31 August 2018 15:46
Comments
President Trump's attack on John McCain 'pisses me off to no end,' Sen. Lindsey Graham says

Senator John McCain’s death is being marked with a series of public events. This Saturday his coffin will travel in a public procession to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, and then on to the final funeral in Washington Cathedral, which will be streamed live, but attendance is strictly invitation only.

Not surprisingly, Donald Trump – the oaf who couldn’t decide whether to raise or lower flags out of respect to a war hero and senior statesman – is not on the guest list. Neither is Sarah Palin, McCain’s former running mate.

I am sure he enjoyed making these decisions, and who can blame him? Funerals always bring out a motley crowd, some of whom the deceased couldn’t stand but never plucked up the courage to edit from their lives. Gawkers and distant relatives who you haven’t seen in 30 years who slide up and proudly announce: “You’ll be next!”

I always leave a funeral thinking it could have benefitted from better music, glitzier decor and a more interesting guest list. My solution is simple: after I’ve drawn my last breath, the body will go straight to a crematorium and be incinerated. I will leave money and plans for a big celebration, and the guest list will be placed in the hands of a trusted friend known for their excessive life style. I promise to supply great food, wine and music. Guests can smoke, snort, trample on or drink my ashes – as long as they have a blast.

Register for free to continue reading

Registration is a free and easy way to support our truly independent journalism

By registering, you will also enjoy limited access to Premium articles, exclusive newsletters, commenting, and virtual events with our leading journalists

Already have an account? sign in

By clicking ‘Register’ you confirm that your data has been entered correctly and you have read and agree to our Terms of use, Cookie policy and Privacy notice.

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy policy and Terms of service apply.

Join our new commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in