How to find joy after being betrayed

Poet and artist Frieda Hughes talks through the fall-out of being lied to... and how to find hope again

SHADOWS

If I paint the diary of a day in my life as the hours close,

The blues and yellows of my joy, or reds and blacks of my despair

Wrestle their trails across the canvas. I console myself

That if misery is not illuminated by some small happiness,

Or joy is not backlit by some unwanted occurrence

That leaves me questioning my resilience,

Then how can I judge the true measure

Of the contents of my mind and the state of my emotions

Against the colours on the canvas?

To see the shape of the light, we need shadows

Or we are simply blinded.

This week someone broke something,

Their perpetual lies carving out the air

Between the knowledge and my paintbrush

Even as the chaffinch fed his young from my windowsill

And the peonies exploded their pinks and crimsons.

The unsteady platform of my trust in others

Was insecurely balanced. But the universe is better placed

To give back their intent, while I record their contrasts

On canvas that will bear testament, tomorrow and tomorrow.