The Princess of Wales’ essay on screen time hits a raw nerve for parents – it sounds like me on a bad day

While Kate makes a lot of good points about the dangers of screen time, it’s easy for a princess to take a high-horse view of how much time parents let their children – or themselves – spend on smartphones, says single mum-of- two, Charlotte Cripps

The Princess of Wales has called out parents who check their phones, scroll through social media and respond to emails while having family meals or playing with children – warning that screen time is creating an “epidemic of disconnection” that disrupts families.

In a deeply passionate and important essay titled “The Power of Human Connection in a Distracted World”, which she wrote with Professor Robert Waldinger of Harvard University, Kate implores us to “look people in the eye and be fully there”, explaining that the “constant distraction” of smartphones and gadgets means “we are withdrawing the basic form of love that human connection requires”.

“We sit together in the same room while our minds are scattered across dozens of apps, notifications, and feeds. We’re physically present but mentally absent, unable to fully engage with the people right in front of us,” she wrote. Gulp!

The piece, published on the Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood website this week, certainly hits a raw nerve – even if Kate’s sister-in-law, the Duchess of Sussex, championed the exact same cause in her speech in New York, where she and Prince Harry were named Humanitarians of the Year. I mean, what parent wouldn’t descend into a shame spiral and end up with mum guilt after reading it?

On one level, it’s totally relatable. In fact, it sounds like Kate is talking about me on a bad day, when I’m glued to my phone as I’m trying to balance the school drop-off, work, and do an online food shop – all while ignoring my child who is trying to tell me some long-winded story about what slime they want for Christmas.

I think there are lots of good points in Kate’s essay. People are becoming lonelier and isolated, and families are not giving their children enough attention, all due to online distractions. But, of course, it’s easy for a princess with a nanny and staff to take a high-horse view of how much time parents let their children, and themselves, spend on smartphones.

The truth is: an iPad doubles as free childcare for struggling single parents like me. If Kate was a fly on the wall in my two-bedroom flat, she’d totally get it. I’m not making excuses – it’s just reality.

Of course it depresses me when I catch my daughter Liberty, seven, hiding under the duvet, secretly watching YouTube videos of Labubu unboxings on her tablet, while Lola, nine, is watching clips about Taylor Swift’s new album, The Life of a Showgirl, on another device, and I’m scrolling Instagram on my phone. Where’s the connection in that? We are like ships that pass in the night. But it might also be the only way I get some me-time.

I know the dangers. Only this morning I screamed in frustration: “I didn’t have screens when I was your age! Now I am going to spend the next 10 years battling to keep you – and me – off them.”

A recent study found that just 90 minutes of screen time a day is enough to negatively impact children’s reading and writing ability – and even increase the risk of behavioural problems, according to the researchers at the University of Canterbury, in New Zealand.

And, of course, we all need to give others the undivided attention that relationships require. But long before social media, parents weren’t always emotionally available, living by the motto “children should be seen, and not heard”.

The modern world is different – it’s about gentle parenting, baby-led weaning, and screen time. But for many working parents, like me, screen time is a godsend, with a cost-of-living crisis, lack of housing security, and minimal infrastructure to support parents.

Of course, Kate is right to call for families to prioritise real connection over handheld devices. Particularly alarming is the fact that one in five British children already owns a smartphone by the age of two, according to the online regulator Ofcom.

Liberty’s class held a Roblox playdate at Whole Foods last week and I declined to go, preferring IRL playdates. Like Kate, I don’t give my kids phones either.

Last week, the Prince of Wales said that, as parents, they are both “very strict” with their decision not to give mobile phones to their three children, Prince George, 12, Princess Charlotte, 10, and Prince Louis, seven. However, I might have to when Lola goes to secondary school in two years’ time, in order to track her and be able to contact her as she goes on the bus alone.

I have to remember that I’m trying my best – and I have two well-balanced, happy children, despite the fact I’m constantly fighting their screen time (and mine). Although both my kids overdosed on Peppa Pig as babies to keep me sane, it doesn’t appear to have scarred them for life.

I’m not dismissing the addictive nature of devices and social media, but children, given the choice between an iPad and an outdoor adventure, will usually opt for the latter.

The only trouble is, working, cash-strapped parents like me can’t always be there for them, and the brutal truth is: the iPad is (as long as it’s charged).