I’m so glad Kim Kardashian was brave enough to tell women to ‘get off our f***ing asses’ and go to work

Could it be that Kardashian was not offering advice, per se, but an uncomfortable projection?

Kim Kardashian at Milan Fashion Week in February 2022 (Getty Images for Prada)

When Kim Kardashian, in her latest interview for Variety magazine, offered advice for women in business, I was all ears. I assumed she knew what she was talking about, as a business owner and globally recognized media personality and brand. Perhaps naively, I expected her to tout the importance of determination and grit, but also self-care, gratitude and mental health. I thought she’d even offer something about the value of networking with the right people and treating others well in one’s pursuit of success. Maybe she’d even say a word or two about the role of luck (everyone — even a Kardashian — could use a bit of luck along the way). You know, something equal parts platitudinous, honest, and useful.

I was not, however, expecting women to be told to get our “f***ing asses up and work.” And all in the wake of International Women’s Day! I was also not expecting her assessment that “it seems like nobody wants to work these days.” I’m forced to wonder: Which Instagram filter inspired that particular view of women? And did Kardashian offer this observation from another one of her pandemic-era island vacations, or while she was perhaps lounging in her $95 million jet customized with cashmere walls? Or maybe she came to these conclusions poolside, on the edge of her $20 million Hidden Hills California mansion?

Could it be that Kardashian was not offering advice, per se, but an uncomfortable projection? A glimpse into her own insecurities as a woman famous for, well, a whole lot but also not much at all?

If only time machines existed. Kardashian and I are the same age. I’d invite her to spend time with me as I was growing up in the 80s and 90s in New York City, raised by blue-collar parents who, on occasion, made difficult decisions about which bills to pay in a given month. I’d introduce her to my mom and dad, who often worked more than a combined 160 hours per week just to be able to provide for our family. I’d acquaint her with my dad’s broken-down cars and dirt-caked work boots; I’d next show her my mom’s tears after particularly challenging days of lugging around heavy sacks of mail for the United States Postal Service. I don’t need a time machine to share my student loan balance with Kardashian, because twenty years after graduation I’m still paying them off. I, like so many others, don’t have a lawyer father and entrepreneur mother to rely on for their millions.

My parents “got their f***ing asses up” every morning and worked, and we still lived paycheck to paycheck. As I was growing up, they taught me a similar work ethic. I get my ass up daily, but don’t have billions to show for it. Most of us don’t have billions to show for the work that we do. In fact — and this is something that the pandemic laid bare — many of us don’t have a livable wage to show for the work that we do.

All of which leads me to my next question: Where has Kardashian been for two years, and how, exactly, is she defining “work”? Because I’d kill to trade places with her if it meant I could slap on designer leggings and a bustier and snap selfies all day long, while at the same time expecting to be handsomely compensated for my back-breaking efforts. (Although, now I’m giving myself ideas…)

There are few people alive across the last two years who have been able to escape the personal and professional struggles wrought by the pandemic. Stories of parents juggling work and children and feeling like failures on both fronts abound. People sick with worry about not being able to pay rent or afford other necessities; businesses that have shut down in droves; and the increase in homelessness and desperation across the country are — I thought — widely known tragedies. Has Kardashian taken her designer jet to Mars? Do they not have WiFi up there?

Taking umbrage is the only reasonable response to Kardashian’s tone-deaf remarks. Her criticisms couched as “advice” are an insult to women who do not have nannies, chauffeurs, chefs, and bottomless bank accounts at the ready, willing and able to do the heavy lifting that the rest of us know as daily struggle. As actress Jameela Jamil said in response to Kardashian, “if you grew up in Beverly Hills with super successful parents in what was simply a smaller mansion… nobody needs to hear your thoughts on success/work ethic.”

But what annoys me most about Kardashian’s words is how disingenuous they are: She was always going to be okay. She and her family didn’t need to ink expensive television deals or slap their images onto products that other people make. Kim Kardashian, from birth, was always going to be okay. Who is she to tell the rest of us what to do?

I can’t stop to think about that for too long, though. For now, I’m going to do what I’ve always done and get my ass back to work — because my mere survival depends on it.