If you say Muslim women look like letterboxes, the only job you can get is prime minister – it’s the woke brigade’s fault

Actors, in particular, have faced appalling hardship. Half of the country’s actors currently working were educated at private schools. We’re now so woke that the other half of acting roles are going to that lucky group known as ‘common people’

At last some courageous figures are coming forward, to stand up and say you’re not allowed to say anything these days. Because these days the woke brigade have society so sewn up. All you have to say is that Muslim women look like bank robbers and letter boxes, and you’re blacklisted from so many jobs you have to find work as the prime minister.

So it’s encouraging how Laurence Fox has been the latest figure to stand up for the oppressed, and declare on Question Time he suffers racism for being a “privileged white male”.

Every civil rights movement needs its Martin Luther King, and he’s prepared to compete for that role. Hopefully he’ll learn from James Brown’s “Say it loud, I’m black and I’m proud”, and record a song called “I’ll state with intent, my daddy owns Kent.”

You can see how this ethnic group feels so unfairly treated, compared to the luxurious treatment enjoyed by other minorities. For example, a law has just been passed that removes the right of child refugees to be united with their families. And who will suffer most from this? Privileged white men of course.

Every day at immigration offices, you can see the heartbreak of child refugees, pleading “I appear to have become estranged from my family upon the Isle of Jura during a hunting expedition. My father is the ninth Earl of Winchester, you MUST be able to locate him, you simply MUST.” But the law has passed so there’s nothing anyone can do.

This all follows a referendum, in which one of the main tactics for one side was to cultivate hostility towards the privileged white male. One party leader even unveiled billboards saying “Breaking Point”, showing lines of them, comparing stashes of cocaine at a party in Chelsea Harbour.

Actors, in particular, have faced appalling hardship. Half of the country’s actors currently working were educated at private schools. This means we’re now so woke that the other half of acting roles in the country go to that lucky group known as “common people”, who went to state schools, so apart from the unfairness this must be making theatres smell of fish fingers and buses and ITV.

Fox complained about a typical example of woke nonsense, in which a Sikh is portrayed as fighting alongside British soldiers in the film 1917, saying this is an example of how “diversity is forced on people”. There were entire Sikh regiments in the British army, so presumably his complaint is that during the First World War, army recruitment offices had to recruit Sikhs, just to make the First World War diverse. Hundreds of Sikhs were sent over the top in the trenches, so the quota of dead Sikhs would match the government target and keep the PC brigade happy. Otherwise, it would be impossible to make a realistic film about the war 100 years later without including a Sikh. It’s no wonder some people have had enough.

He went on to say the presence of a Sikh “diverted him from the story”. This is the trouble with people from India, they’re too distracting. It’s why I can’t watch a Bollywood film, I’m enjoying the storyline of a man expressing love for a woman by arriving in a field on a horse and dancing with all his friends round trees, then I think “oh hang on, there’s a Sikh,” and I lose concentration.

When it was pointed out to the actor there were Sikhs in the army, he responded reasonably by insisting his point still stood, because “It’s important to be able to say what we feel”. And this is what they’re fighting for. Why should a fact stated by a privileged white male be any less valid just because it’s wrong? If a privileged white male child answers an exam question asking, “Who was Henry the Eighth?” by saying, “He was a Formula 1 racing driver”, that’s the right answer, as long as it’s how he feels.

So hopefully he’ll recover from his trauma being triggered, and be free to contribute other insights into portrayals of the First World War. Maybe he can tell us it’s a disgrace that an entire section of a BBC programme on the war didn’t mention Britain’s involvement in it at all. The BBC may respond this was the minute’s silence on Remembrance Day, but we’ll know the real reason is the woke brigade have struck again.

But finally there’s resistance. For example, it’s heartening that a scheme has been set up in which victims of this treatment can at least find work. To get enrolled, the applicant has to announce on a podcast that they’re sick of not being allowed to say anything these days, such as “We need to be honest and admit all criminals have always been Pakistanis, including Reggie Kray and Dick Turpin, but 18th century political correctness covered it up. And this Harvey Weinstein trial shows how feminism has gone too far. Because if a man has to ask permission before assaulting someone, that’s the end of romance.”

Within a week they’ll be a panellist on Question Time and on Good Morning Britain with Piers Morgan, explaining all the things you’re not allowed to say these days, and given a column in The Times, appearing on Radio 4 and Radio 5 all day, explaining how people like them are never given a voice, and probably on Radio 3 as well, where they can complain about the operas on the station, because the woke rules mean they always have an Italian in them, which diverts from the story.

And eventually, if they can reach inside themselves and stay strong, they will see off the haters, and find the respect they deserve.