Poor old Today programme. Off they go, John, Jim and Sue, in all innocence seeking their listeners' favourite person of the year. And what happens? First, cynical Labour know-nothings try to rig it. And then (which, we ask, is worse?) John Major wins. Cry foul! Are we really to believe that the middle-aged middle classes prefer Mr Major to a whole bevy of moral heroines? Women who saved children, fought for gun laws and democracy, survived disaster? No chance.
So here's a suggestion for the new editor of Today. Scrap the poll next year. Choose your own favourite, or get a group of estimable and non-partisan female judges to do it for you. After all, we're going to have enough of Messrs Blair and Major in 1997 to last us through a thousand Boxing Day breakfasts.
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