What Lilibet’s name will mean for her relationship with the Queen

I named my daughter after her great-grandmother too – I know the pair will have a rare and special bond

Much has been made of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s decision to name their new baby daughter “Lilibet”, after her great-grandmother, the Queen. It has been praised in some quarters, derided in others – even mocked... which is about the meanest response you can give the announcement of any newborn baby, royal blood or not.

Even if the name was “Khaleesi” because its parents watched too much Game of Thrones; or “Vegas”after its unique place of conception; or (heaven’s forbid) “Nigel”, well, you suck it up, don’t you? The way you do when any friend or family member shows off something you’re not sure about, but they’re quite obviously proud of – like a terrible tattoo, or a dubious new partner, or one of those “inspirational” Instagram quotes stencilled on the wall in their kitchen.

In those cases you hold in any of your own concerns, because it’s rude if you don’t – and the one thing British people can be proud about is our manners. After all, it’s not a child’s fault if it has a name you may scoff at, even if that name is “Chardonnay”.

This belies the point, anyway; because it is my firm opinion that Lilibet – whilst unusual – is not a stupid name; it’s actually a very sweet name: both in of itself, but also in its shortened form (who doesn’t like a “Lily”? There are at least two or three in my son’s reception year at primary school alone!) – as well as being a meaningful tribute to an important, founding member of the family: the Queen.

And yes, those family ties may be distinctly fractured at the moment; but this is why the choice of Lilibet is so important. Because from now on – no matter what the critics say; no matter how demonised their choices; no matter (though it does very much matter) the continued – and often distasteful – negative reaction towards Lilibet’s mother, Meghan Markle – this little girl will have an unbreakable, rare and special bond with the Queen.

How do I know? Because I’ve lived it. My daughter, who’s nine, is named after one of the most special people in her life: her great-grandmother. The pair were born 87 years apart, with four generations between them; yet were still peas in a pod for the rare and precious few years they had together. We sadly lost the family matriarch two years ago; a yawning absence in the make-up of our extended network of cousins and kids and aunties and exes, but never more so than for her namesake.

My little girl keeps a framed photograph of her great-grandmother next to her bed, and kisses it goodnight, every night. She was allowed to choose a couple of pieces of her jewellery to keep after she died – nothing hugely valuable, there was no St Edward’s crown in the collection – and has taken the responsibility achingly seriously; wrapping each necklace up in tissue paper and placing costume jewellery rings in a box with a handwritten note marked “Nanny’s Treasures”.

Like Lilibet and the Queen, the pair lived hours apart, so were restricted mostly to FaceTime, yet when we visited – every couple of months or so – their faces would light up like Christmas baubles and they would hurtle into each other’s arms. Her great-grandmother even called my daughter “my little queen”.

By the end of her life, she’d spent extended periods in hospital and had serious breathing troubles. But as soon as she saw my daughter, she’d discover reserves of energy that left the rest of us marvelling (and concerned). At 92, we once caught her getting down flat on the floor to get involved in a tickle fight.

Perhaps it was coincidence, but the pair were strikingly alike in personality, too. Both driven, both stubborn, both talkative and tenacious and strong. Formidable women, to the very last. I’m proud of both of them. And whether it’s genes, or something rarer and more mystical that just happens when you are named in tribute to someone else; it has always felt like we gave her good standing, naming her after someone so inspiring.

To hell with the nay-sayers. Lilibet and the Queen will find their own, private, special way – and nobody will be able to do a thing about it. Which, when it comes to family, is exactly the way it should be.