Madonna won't be picking up the 'Mother of the Year' award anytime soon

Rocco’s court-appointed lawyer revealed that the custody fight was causing the boy severe stress. When will Madonna learn that her kids didn’t choose to be part of her media circus?

Madonna has settled her custody battle with Guy Richie out of court, with her son Rocco remaining in the UK (AP)

Madonna is not someone who courts sympathy, but it can’t be pleasant to find that your darling eldest son prefers to live with his father thousands of miles away.

At the end of last year, Rocco visited London with his mother, who was on a world tour. Both parents divorced in 2008, and agreed to share custody. After Christmas, when Rocco refused to return to New York, Madonna embarked on a bitter (and costly) legal battle to get him sent back to live with the rest of her children. At one stage, the judge remarked that it would be far better if the matter was resolved out of the public eye and off social media, as Madonna continued to post provocative statements. The Queen of Instagram clearly thought she was using the right tools to win our hearts, but at what cost?

Rocco’s court-appointed lawyer revealed that the fight was causing the boy severe stress. In April, Madonna visited London and turned up at her son’s school, dressing in a gothic-inspired black outfit complete with yards of chain embellishments to meet the head teacher. That week, she made a couple of public appearances dining with her son – in places that were bound to be stalked by the paparazzi. Why can’t this woman grow up and sometimes choose privacy over exposure?

The case has finally been resolved in an out of court settlement – Rocco is to remain in London. Mother and son are said to have patched up their differences – which might be the PR spin on what must be a very humiliating (and rare) defeat for the star.

A day after the ruling was made public, Madonna was using Instagram to vent her views – posting an old picture of her four children with the caption “we are family no matter where we are in the (world)”. She also posted a photo of herself in a black hoodie, with a graffiti crown superimposed and the slogan BITCH, with the caption “because soccer Mom’s need to be a…”

When will Madonna learn that her kids didn’t choose to be part of the media circus or promotion of her brand? Rocco needs time away from the spotlight to make his own mistakes and develop his own group of friends. Dragging him around on a world tour was ridiculous. So many people I know want their teenage kids to be their best pals, when it’s far healthier to keep your distance and let them have the space to discover themselves.

Privacy is what teenagers need above everything else, and Madonna has been taught a brutal lesson, pilloried by the press she regularly seeks to use to her advantage.