What 2025 taught me about good manners – and people

Politeness hasn’t disappeared – it’s simply moved online, says William Hanson. But as this year shows, courtesy still depends on thinking about other people

Once upon a time, good manners were about please and thank you. In 2025, they’re about read receipts, voice notes and knowing when to keep your thoughts to yourself. Not everyone has got the memo.

If you used AI, be honest about it

It is good manners to disclose when you have used AI (Alamy/PA)

We have to start with AI. It is good manners to disclose when you have used AI, because not doing so is exactly the same as when celebrities have ghostwriters for books without having a single allusion to that writer anywhere, even in the acknowledgements. It’s ridiculous and poor form.

But just because it is bad manners to use AI without acknowledging it does not mean that AI cannot be used politely. I had a conversation with someone who said they have started using ChatGPT to help them write thank-you letters. My gut reaction was, “Oh, well, that’s depressing.” But let’s zoom out – at least they’re writing thank-you letters at all.

Your notifications are not my emergency

People sending messages should now respect the recipient's time (Getty Images)

On messaging platforms, the onus is now on the sender to respect the recipient’s time – or what they might be doing. The politest thing, of course, is to have “read receipts” switched on for platforms like WhatsApp. That is very helpful to organised people like me, who still have theirs switched on. But people in 2025 have become far more conscious of the need to disconnect, and it is now fairly standard to have them turned off.

Context is manners now

A similar courtesy extends to emails and voice notes. When you are sending something – whether an email or WhatsApp – don’t forget to add “FYI only” or ”response not needed”, if that is the case. It helps the recipient prioritise. I am very pro-voice notes, although you cannot send one to someone you don’t know. If you are sending one, attach a short message to give context – “Re: ACME client”, for example – or flag that it doesn’t need to be played urgently.

Public noise is still rude

Listening to music or watching TikTok videos without headphones in public is impolite (Getty/iStock)

Speakerphone calls, watching TikTok videos, or watching a film without headphones in public are hugely impolite. The conceit that what you’re doing is more important than anyone else deeply bothers me. I do think this behaviour will eventually die out. The more we talk about it – and the more irritating it becomes – the more likely we are to treat it like those “I’m on the train!” phone calls from years ago that Dom Joly lampooned.

I don’t want to ‘get ready with you’

Not everybody wants to ‘get ready with you’ (The Associated Press)

Speaking of the digital world, I have not enjoyed social media in 2025. It seems to be the year of the “Get ready with me” video. I do not want to get ready with you. I’d rather be dead. I don’t even want to get ready with myself, let alone anyone else. So these have to stop.

You don’t owe the world a hot take

Another thing that needs to be thrown in the bin this year is the assumption that you have to have an opinion on everything. It is perfectly OK to say, “I don’t know what I think about the Middle East,” or anything to do with culture wars, the Budget, or suchlike. Ignorance is sometimes acceptable. And even if you do have an opinion, you don’t have to share it with everyone. Especially at Christmas, nobody wants anything too heavy.

Staying in your lane isn’t cowardice

By extension, it’s okay to stay in your lane. I may be best known for talking about the proper way to eat peas, but no one wants or cares about my views on politics, cyclists or sport. Nobody cares. That’s not what they’re here for. More people need to learn that just because they are known for one thing, it does not mean they should let their ego run away with them and assume they are the oracle on everything.

In the face of much adversity, I remain hopeful that we will become more polite, not less. Gen Z gets a bad press, but at their core, they are deeply conscious of how their actions affect others – sometimes over-conscious, perhaps, but that is better than not being conscious at all. That is just good manners: thinking about how you affect other people. And if that’s “woke”, then so be it.

I recently read an amazing quote from Julian Clary, who was asked whether he considers himself “woke”. After a brief hesitation, he replied, “Yes, I think so,” before adding, “I’d rather be woke than a c***.” Words to live by.