This Christmas, spare a thought for the recipient of your out-of-office email

Beyond the essentials – like when you’re back at work and who to contact in your absence – the out-of-office email needn’t be an epic, writes Will Gore. So let’s leave out the waffle and the humour, and keep things concise

Passport, wallet, keys. To those holiday essentials you might add a change of clothes. And the kids (unless you’ve managed to palm them off to granny). Don’t forget to cancel the milk delivery, too. And in the internet age, perhaps as important as all the rest: have you turned on your out-of-office message?

For the holidaying employee, there are, in fact, few more delightful moments. You’ve hurried and harried to get as much done as you can before you start your annual leave. You’ve emailed a couple of close colleagues with a brief note about things that might arise in your absence. And finally, you can change your Outlook or Gmail settings so that anyone who contacts you in the coming days will know firmly that you are away. The holiday has begun.

There are also few more irritating things for anyone not on holiday than receiving an OOO from someone who is, particularly if they are away for a month, or if their message is a particularly jaunty one. Christmas auto-replies can be particularly galling.

Have you had your first one yet? I have – and it gave me a suitably painful pang of resentment. A three-week Christmas break? Maybe one day…

There are lots of ways to craft an out-of-office message. Indeed, there are even online guides about how to do it. The primary tips seem to be: be precise about when you’ll be back; don’t go into detail about what you’re doing on your hols; and provide information on who to contact in your absence.

Not everyone follows these rules.

Some go for terse and unhelpful: “I’m away and won’t respond to your email.” Others massively overshare: “For the next month, I’m lucky enough to be taking the trip of a lifetime to the Amazon rainforest with my incredible wife/husband. It’s totally remote, so I wouldn’t even be able to receive emails, even if I was inclined to reply to them. I’ll tell you all about it when I return, but in the meantime, just call the office if you have an urgent query and I’m sure my amazing colleagues will do their very best to help.”

No doubt you’ve seen variations of these irksome messages. And, like me, you have probably judged the senders of both styles. But I judge even more those who fail to spot the typo in their OOO – no excuses for that, I’m afraid.

There can be logistical dangers if you get too precise. I once had an auto-reply from someone who was on long-term sick leave, which directed me to two of her colleagues. In the meantime, one of that pair had gone on mat leave, and her OOO directed me to the third person in the triumvirate, who – by the time I got the message – had left the company.

Needless to say, there are plenty of examples of “funny” out-of-office messages that people have come across and posted online for posterity:

“Thank you so much for your email. I love it already.”

“The bad news is that I’m out of the office. The good news is that I’m out of the office.”

“I’m busy watching Christmas movies. Catch ya later!”

I think it’s safe to say that attempts at humour are best avoided. I can say with absolute certainty that I have never laughed at an OOO, except when it makes the sender sound like a pompous ass.

The truth is, it may be useful to know that someone is away for a bit, but it’s never useful to know that they can’t reply because they are so busy with meetings or because they are undertaking a remote trek for charity.

So, this Christmas, when the time finally comes for you to set aside your keyboard or close down your laptop, just remember there will be people out there still working. They will resent your festive auto-reply and will not return your season’s greetings. They will not be happy for your extended break. And even if they’re on holiday too, they genuinely aren’t interested that you’re visiting Lapland or the Caribbean.

And in case you’re wondering, yes, I’ll be back next week.