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In truth, there is nothing remotely funny when our Deputy Prime Minister has a bucket of water thrown over him in a grubby little stunt perpetrated by a grubby little lout - Ann Widdecombe,Tory MP

I have never seen such a tidy sleeper as Peter Mandelson. His hands were neatly placed on his thighs. His mouth was closed, his hair remained immaculate - Linda McDougall, wife of Labour the MP Austin Mitchell, after witnessing the Minister without Portfolio slumbering on a train

It's better to send middle-aged men abroad to bore each other than send young men abroad to kill each other - Robin Cook, Foreign Secretary

I am incredibly good at tailoring. If a woman wants to get rid of her bust and hips, I can do it - Antony Price, dress designer

Left-handed women are more likely to win qualifications, to be elected to public office and to take part in public speaking. They even reach puberty 15 months earlier than right-handed women - Bob Worcester, MORI chairman

Every now and then you gotta do one for art - Peter Falk, actor, who plays the TV detective `Columbo', after being signed up to star in a new Arthur Miller play