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With every smell, I smell food. With every sight, I see food. I can almost hear food. I want to spade the whole lot through my mouth at Mach 2. Basta! - The Duchess of York, from her holiday diary, published in `The Spectator'

I believe in two men, Elvis and Jesus Christ - Varna Marie, on the 20th anniversary of the King's death in Memphis this week

It's a very strong network, no doubt about it. But it's an open, meritocratic clique. The reason that we all get on, to be arrogant about it, is that we're all very clever - Derek Draper, former aide to Peter Mandelson, on the young MPs in the New Labour network

A lot of them are knocked down on roads in places like Ontario - MoD spokesman on the source of bearskins used to make Buzby helmets for the Foot Guard regiment

We will not be a footnote - we'll be a footprint in the history of rock music - Noel Gallagher, lead singer of Oasis

If Oasis are bigger than God, what does that make us? Bigger than Buddha? Because we are a darn sight bigger than Oasis - Mel C, aka Sporty Spice

Martin McGuinness is the Godfather of the Godfathers of the IRA - Ken Maginnis, deputy leader, Ulster Unionist Party.

I'm 23 years old and I didn't even know my own arse. Now I'd recognise it anywhere - Paula Howarth, `Penthouse' model