QUOTES OF THE WEEK

When flirting with Thatcherism and the affections of the middle classes, Blair should remember that a yuppie is not just for Christmas, but forever.

Jerry Hayes, Conservative MP

I'd say I have been more offensive about Australia than about Pakistan.

Ian Botham to George Carman,QC, defending himself against Imran Khan's accusation of racism

Thank heavens for kids having fun in the Treasury.

John Redwood, MP, after the Chan-cellor dismissed a Treasury leak as the work of "kids in the office"

There were not as many people as we expected, so he left early.

Harrods sales assistant on Jeffrey Archer's early departure from a book- signing session for 'The Fourth Estate'

This is the end of death.

Dr Chris Winter of British Telecom's artificial-life team, announcing the "soul catcher" chip which BT claims could be implanted in the brain to record a lifetime of thoughts and sensations

They all looked very ordinary except the boys were wearing jackets and trousers in the hot weather.

Airport worker at Nice on the arrival of two divorcees and four children for a holiday