As a male sexual assault survivor, the response to allegations against Tory MP Ross Thomson makes my skin crawl

Anonymity is not a luxury for sexual assault survivors – it's a right. No alleged victim should feel the need to go public to ensure their allegations are taken seriously

Scottish Conservative MP Ross Thomson has announced that he will not contest his seat in the upcoming general election (PA)

When I first decided to shed anonymity and broadcast to the world my story of how at eighteen, I had been raped and left for dead, it felt like a seismic shift in our society was underway.

A bright light had been shone into the taboo world of toxic masculinity which caused men carrying their emotional and trauma with shame in complete isolation, and has led to the deaths of many men who were unable to carry that heavy load. I launched a campaign called #ThisManToo to further the national conversation and start unpicking the idea that, as men, our emotional vulnerability is a weakness and that being a rape survivor was something that should be buried and hidden.

So you can imagine how much it made my skin crawl to witness the Conservative Party’s reaction and handling of the allegations towards Ross Thomson MP, the now former candidate for Aberdeen South.

Conservative MP Thomson has been accused by Labour MP Paul Sweeney of groping him in a Westminster bar. The Glasgow North East MP told the Mail on Sunday that the Conservative backbencher had tried to put his hand down his trousers in Strangers Bar in the Commons. After publicly denying the allegations, Thomson branded them "anonymous an malicious allegations" that were “politically motivated smears” before announcing that he would no longer be standing as an MP however would continue to "fight to clear [his] name". An investigation into the allegations is ongoing.

In February Thomson was also reportedly removed from the same bar by police after being accused of “sexual touching” by three men in their twenties and thirties. No formal charges were made relating to this separate incident and Thomson has denied the allegations.

High profile allegations can be incredibly difficult for survivors – for many it can bring back painful memories and buried emotions. Irresponsibly framed news coverage or reductive statements can have real world ramifications. In the first few years after I was raped, even an off-cuff remark could leave me shaking, vomiting and affect my sleep for days to come.

Public allegations also present a chance (especially in circumstances involving allegations coming from potential male survivors) for organisations to show best practice. It can be an opportunity to treat this important issue with care and due diligence, and to show those men who are yet to speak out how they will potentially be treated.

Sweeney told the Mail on Sunday he had initially kept quiet about the alleged incident because he did not want to be “labelled”. To me it is horrendous and unforgivable that the MP who accused Thomson appears to have felt it necessary to go public with these allegations. Was he afraid that the investigation would be brushed under the carpet and forgotten?

Anonymity is not a luxury for survivors but a right, and no alleged victim should feel the need to go public to ensure their allegations are taken seriously. With the alleged incident first being reported months ago, questions must be asked why the Conservative Party’s first priority wasn’t to conduct a thorough and immediate investigation with a clear timescale for its conclusion. If Sweeney had not gone public, Thomson’s constituents in Aberdeen may not have known about the allegation or the investigation before election day. I don’t think that’s right.

As a rape survivor, the immediate politicisation of Sweeney’s allegations by Thomson is also distressing. Using words like “smears” to describe these allegations sends out the wrong message, particularly given that sexual misconduct is a problem with no political affiliation, with alleged victims and perpetrators across the political spectrum.

It breaks my heart to have seen the Conservatives take a wrecking ball to the fragile house of cards being built by the men raising their voices in politics and beyond. This has every chance of casting those who might have been tentatively stepping into the light back into the darkness. Survivors deserve better.

Finlay McFarlane is the SNP's vice-convener of Out for Independence and founder of #ThisManToo