Tom Hiddleston's publicist must be having a field day: Taylor Swift is the fame pimp of the modern British male

One date with Taylor, and these men are international superstars – Calvin Harris, Harry Styles, even her friendship with Ed Sheeran managed to do it

Anna Rhodes
Thursday 16 June 2016 14:28
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Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift

I have to admit it: I feel betrayed. I feel betrayed by Tom Hiddleston, the man who the BBC flaunted in front of our Adrian Turner-deprived eyes in The Night Manager. The next Bond, they cheered; the epitome of the British gentleman, they cried. Alas, this is no more.

Because, through one little snog with Taylor Swift, de-facto Queen of the Tweens, Hiddleston has just been catapulted onto the world stage, as said photos are all of a sudden distributed globally and Twitter explodes with hundreds of thousands of tweets about this “sea-side encounter”. Hiddleston is no longer just an object of desire for the British – we are now going to have to compete with the world for his attention. The breaking hearts of the plain Brits are sweeping the nation, as we realise he no longer belongs to us – he’s now partnered up with a leggy, successful American blonde. As a very small, mousy-haired woman from Liverpool, my dreams are shattered.

But his publicist must be having a field day.

Tom Hiddleston has made a very sensible career move here, as his name will now be known from Hollywood all the way to the parts of Timbuktu with wifi. By linking himself to such a famous woman, he has ensured the longevity of his career: everyone knows his face, and everyone now wants a piece of him. Profits galore for Hiddleston Inc.

If we consider Taylor Swift’s dating past, she does seem to have a distinctive type – young, British, “up and coming”. One date with Taylor, and these men are international superstars – Calvin Harris, Harry Styles, even her friendship with Ed Sheeran managed to do it. And I take my hat off to her: she is the metaphorical pimp of the British male –putting them out there, letting them spread their wings after a year or so, and then writing four songs about their break-up and cashing in millions. It’s absolute genius.

Of course, many sections of the media can’t cope with Taylor’s merry boyfriend-hopping. “Why does she recycle men?” headlines scream. “Why can’t she keep a man for good?” It goes without saying that male popstars get off scot-free where their own girlfriend-hopping is concerned – and they aren’t castigated for singing about their relationships either (nobody ever called Ed Sheeran a bitter slut who couldn’t stop his women from leaving).

God forbid that a woman not be attached to one man, carefully chosen by her family, for the rest of her life. One-way ticket to hell for you, Ms Swift, especially if you’re profiting from it. You can share a bunkbed with poor Gigi Hadid, that other young one whose relationships are subject to so much scrutiny she may as well not bother getting out of bed in the morning.

So, let’s continue to mourn the loss of Tom Hiddleston to the Yanks, but celebrate the fact that Taylor Swift is confident enough to not care what millions of people think of her – if she wants to be a serial monogamist, let her. It doesn’t affect our lives in any way if she racks up four boyfriends in two years, whether it’s a publicity stunt or a very famous, very beautiful girl enjoying her life as a young, free singleton.

I may dislike the irritatingly catchy songs she produces, but in nabbing the nation’s favourite lad and gaining him global recognition in the process, I have to say I admire her tactics.

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