The Top 10: More Twitter jokes

It’s time for a roundup of some of the best one-liners from those putting the wit in Twitter

John Rentoul
Saturday 06 April 2019 10:09 BST

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Louise Thomas

Louise Thomas


As is traditional at this time of year, I pause to celebrate the wits of the world’s favourite microblogging website and in particular to praise the genius of Moose Allain, one of its greatest adornments, responsible for half of the following, and for the cartoon above.

1. Does anybody know what the word “delegate” means? Asking for a friend. Moose Allain.

2. We don’t have many visits from aliens as our solar system got terrible ratings on the extra-terrestrial version of TripAdvisor. Just one star. Via Chris Heaton-Harris.

3. Many hands make tall horse. Moose Allain.

4. Brouhaha (noun): The feeling of joy derived upon discovering someone has just made you a cup of tea. Glenny Rodge.

5. The best way to decide a Most Prolific Illustrator competition is to draw lots. Moose Allain.

6. My dog (sitting at the dining room table, doing his homework): “What does anthropomorphise mean?” Glenny Rodge.

7. The German version of Where’s Wally? is called Heidi. Moose Allain.

8. The patron saint of copying people into emails is St Francis of a CC. Steven Cassidy.

9. I threw a ball for my dog. Extravagant, I know, but it was his 21st birthday. Moose Allain.

10. ‏I regret to say that I’m disappointed with this thesaurus. There’s no other word for it. Pablo Egglescobar.

Next week: Consequential ministers who never made it to one of the great offices of state (prime minister, deputy prime minister, first secretary, chancellor, foreign secretary or home secretary).

Coming soon: Hits that blindsided experts and gatekeepers – suggested by Ian Leslie re “Your Song”, originally released by Elton John as a B-side.

Your suggestions please, and ideas for future Top 10s, to me on Twitter, or by email to

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