The top-secret transcript that reveals why Trump really pulled out of the WHO

Satirist Ed Manning imagines the scenario which led to the president dumping the World Health Organization during a pandemic

Ed Manning
New York
Thursday 09 July 2020 10:11
Comments
Donald Trump says US is terminating relationship with World Health Organisation

Reeling from post-traumatic small crowd disorder after his Tulsa and DC rallies, allegations from his niece’s book, and a staggering Covid-19 spike across the US, Trump now faces startling revelations from a newly leaked White House transcript. The transcript undoubtedly puts Trump’s Mensa application in jeopardy.

While anonymous sources have neither confirmed nor denied its authenticity, it is rumored the following transcript was remanded to a highly classified government server in late March. It allegedly captures a perfect conversation between the President and Dr Fauci regarding the World Health Organization (WHO).

President: You seem like a really terrific guy. Shorter than I like, but terrific. You’re my main infections person, right?

Fauci: Infectious diseases. Yes, Mr President.

President: And you’re familiar with the organization calling this corona-saurus thing a pandemic?

Fauci: Yes. “Coronavirus,” sir.

President: Tell me the name of the organization so I can terminate our relationship with them.

Fauci: WHO.

President: The organization that loves China and said Coed-19 was a pandemic.

Fauci: Covid-19, sir. WHO did.

President: That’s what I want to find out.

Fauci: I’m telling you. WHO is the organization that classified the outbreak as a pandemic.

President: You’re head of the invisible disease thing, right?

Fauci: Yes.

President: And you don’t know the name of the organization?

Fauci: Of course I do.

President: Then who is the organization?

Fauci: Yes.

President: The one calling the virus a non-hoax.

Fauci: W.H.O. WHO labeled the coronavirus a pandemic.

President: I don’t know. I’m asking you. Who is the organization?

Fauci: That’s the organization’s name.

President: That’s whose name?

Fauci: Yes.

President: Well, go ahead and tell me.

Fauci: That’s it.

President: That’s who?

Fauci: Yes.

PAUSE. Using both hands, the President drains a Diet Coke and sniffs loudly several times.

President: Look, there’s an organization that monitors health issues, right?

Fauci: Absolutely.

President: Who is that organization?

Fauci: That’s correct.

President: When countries around the world pay this organization over $5 billion a year, who gets the money?

Fauci: Every billion of it.

President: Okay, Doc. You’re taxing my patience. Everybody knows I hate taxes. We’re at war with an invisible enemy. So small, you can’t even see it. Imagine that. Invisible small. “Pandemic” is a fake news. It wouldn’t even exist if there was no testing. So, for the last time, who contradicted me when I said this virus would go from 15 people to zero? Who says it won’t miraculously disappear, that we need more tests, and that ending sheltering without guidelines is like fighting a brush fire using gasoline and wind turbines?

Fauci: Exactly. You’ve got it, sir.

President, whispering to Vice President Pence: Mikey, show Tony out. I need to draft a tweet that I hardly know him.

VP: Yessir, Mr President. I think you are doing an amazing job, sir. Incredible. Awesome.

Fauci to VP: I think Rex Tillerson was onto something.

VP: Who?

Fauci: No. Tillerson.

END TRANSCRIPT

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